


Enchanté

by kozumekenmakun (dearestloverboy)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Deaf!Jean, M/M, i kinda want to make them punch each other, modern!AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-10 01:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4371386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearestloverboy/pseuds/kozumekenmakun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean is deaf. And he has been for most of his life. Beyond used to the stares, the concerned and pity-filled looks, he uses painting as a medium to forget it all. However, Jean didn't know that when one of his paintings ends up in Eren Jaeger's hands, he'd suddenly forget all about the pity-filled looks and being looked down upon. Suddenly, Jean understood what it felt like to feel like a human again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Grip

**Author's Note:**

> a fic where jean is hard of hearing/p much deaf but his bf is kinda a loud person  
> this is entirely self indulgent bc 1. i always wanted to write a fic where jean is deaf  
> 2\. im in fucking jean/eren HELL i read one fucking fic about sexting and it RUINED me. 
> 
> this fic is kinda sorta really inspired by [Jäger Royale by Variabile](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1447453) here on AO3  
> also in case ur wondering echanté means nice to meet u in french but can also mean enchanted/delighted ooo fancy  
> also pardon ooc jean & eren bc i havent really written them before aaaa

Jean was an artist. 

Not like a music artist. Pfft, in his dreams he'd be a goddamn music artist. 

Jean was a painter, mostly. He'd occasionally switch from acrylic paints to simple chalk  pastels  to charcoal. (He did that once and immediately regretted it once it stained his pants) 

It was a way for him to simply just... get away. Painting offered him a comfortable silence. A silence that wasn't filled with the faint sound of him sighing whenever he could very barely hear someone trying to get his attention. A silence that wasn't filled with awkwardly telling people he was pretty much deaf. A silence filled with so much sympathetic words and gestures that he began hating it by the time he was 10. 

He didn't have to worry about explaining, or watching faces drop in pity when they realized he couldn't hear. That he was disabled. As if having one simple sense missing meant he was suddenly a broken human being who lived a miserable, terrible life. All he could do when he painted was.. paint. No words, no explanations, and he was good enough at it that he got enough money to live off the commission work he did. It was a comfortable  life style  that limited his physical interactions with other people. No one knew he was deaf in the art community; they just knew he was a goddamn good painter. 

Jean sat back in his beyond clean rolly-chair, the paint stained chair giving a groan as Jean leaned back on its worn-down frame. Jean bit down lightly on the end of his paintbrush, careful not to have the paint touch his tongue as he did so as he looked at his current work in progress. It was a very complex sort of painting. A lot of symbolism was involved, and his client was very specific about what they wanted. Jean didn't care about the picky nature of his current client. The guy was paying him a shit ton for this. 

Jean's eyes scanned the painting for probably the fifth time, seeing if it was 1. up to the client's standards (or at least whatever the fuck he could remember of them) and 2. that it made sense, where things were, the color scheme. Art shit like that. A loud noise from his phone pulled him from his daze, (he purposefully made the notification noises rather loud,) and Jean decided with a shrug that it would probably be good to get a break anyways. A clear head after painting for hours on end was always a good thing. 

He set the paintbrush into a container filled 3/4ths of the way with murky blue-hued water, swirling it around to get some of the pigment left in the brushes' bristles out before wiping his hands and grabbing his phone. He leaned back against his rolly chair once again, unlocking his phone and reading the message. 

It was from someone whose number he surely didn't recognize. A quick look through his recent calls list confirmed that this guy never messaged or even called him before. Jean read the message again. 

** From: 700-555-5555 **  (lmao)

ey r u  comin  to the party 2nite????

Jean cringed at the message. Jesus, what the fuck was that typing style? It was almost incomprehensible. Luckily, Jean was accustom enough to "chat speak" that it didn't take him more than a few seconds to decipher this jumble of letters. 

Not only was the number foreign, but the goddamn message was vague as hell. However, the area code of 700 gave him the hint that this guy lived in his area. Or at least, his phone number was created in this area. Jean spent a few moments in heavy deliberation on whether or not he should fuck with this guy and reply, or just delete the conversation and ignore him entirely. 

Jean bit down on his lip, eyes squinting as he read over the message again. _Fuck it_ , he thought, positioning his phone better and in both hands to type out a reply. 

** To: 700-555-5555 **

hell yeah

His  response  was arguably rather lackluster. But for lack of anything better or witty, he kept with it, pressing the send button without a care after he typed out the simple reply. Jean was already ready to close out the app to check his email when his phone buzzed again, and a reply from the mysterious number showed as a notification on the uppermost part of the screen for a few seconds. Jean raised an eyebrow. 

** From: 700-696-6969 **  ( ;) )

lmao when tf did u start 2 curse armin 

Armin? What the hell kind of name-- 

Jean's eyes widened slightly. He recognized that name from somewhere. He stared down at the text message, specifically at the name "Armin" before it clicked in his head. Armin Arlert was one of his recent clients. He wasn't the stuck up picky guy he was stuck working with right now, but he was one he worked for just last week. The commissioned work was something simple yet slightly symbolic and meaningful for someone's birthday.

_"It's for a good friend,"_ He remembered reading in the email from him about the work. 

Armin was the weirdest name he'd ever found out existed, and the chances of another Armin being in even a 5'000 mile radius of here was rarer than Jean saying out loud that he kinda liked dick more than vagina. 

Jean read the message again. Fuck, how the fuck would this Armin guy text? He remembered in the email that he was formally casual, and it was a weird typing style. 

He frowned slightly, brows curving inward. Maybe he should drop this shit act-- 

He felt another buzz. 

** From: 700-696-6969  **

w/e the  paitning  u got me 4 my bday is hella cool 

props 2 the guy u  commissned

Jean cringed at the piss-poor typing style once again. God, did this guy know how to spell? At least now Jean had complete confirmation that this was indeed the Armin he guessed it was earlier, and that this was the friend he had the painting commissioned for. Jean wasn't even sure at this point if he should keep up this damn charade any longer. He sent only one damn reply and he was already balls deep in shit. 

Jean's fr own deepened. 

** To: 700-696-6969 **

this isn't armin lmao 

you texted the wrong number dude 

Jean guessed it was a good enough reply. He decided to leave the matter be for now, guessing that the guy won't text him anymore after that reply. He quickly checked his email, replied to a few before setting his phone away to charge and going back to painting. 

____

Eren was staring at the painting. 

And he kept doing it. 

For some reason, he couldn't pry his eyes away. Eren wasn't really a sucker for paintings; it was his least favorite art form. However, whoever painted this goddamn masterpiece was quickly changing his mind. 

The painting was extremely simple, slightly symbolic but heavily meaningful. He understood the  references  made in the blue and green hues of the painting, and found the color scheme and paint style so... relaxing. He was having a shit day, until he finally was able to open up the painting and finally see why Armin was so goddamn giddy earlier in the day. 

Eren was an angry kid. Well... angry adult, actually. He had anger issues that called for management classes and such at a young age so he wouldn't end up beating someone to a goddamn pulp or end up getting his ass kicked by a gang. Small things left Eren wanting to scream and blow up, but he found ways to cope and deal with it. 

And for some reason.. this painting worked like a miracle compared to the other  me thods  he used to die down his anger. Something about the swirling strokes and calming, soothing colors left him forgetting what he was pissed about in the first place. It was _really_ weird. 

And because of that weird hypnotic quality of it, he really couldn't thank Armin enough after he opened it and found a place for it to sit. Armin was surprised that Eren liked it more than he originally guessed he would, but glad he was happy with it and not throwing some stupid remark about how art was useless. Then again, Eren never really said anything negative much anymore around friends, so what was Armin to expect?

He sighed, running a hand through his slightly greasy hair. He had to get ready soon, he realized. A birthday party for him being held at a bar a little ways away was happening tonight, and it would be really sad if the main star wasn't even there. 

Eren pulled himself out of bed, and went over to his closet, deciding to change his clothes. It was really nothing  intense  or flashy. Just a black graphic tee, black skinny jeans and plain old converse. Eren wasn't really one to care to get dressy unless the situation heavily called for it. 

After getting dressed and cleaning himself up a bit by brushing his hair and teeth and other hygenics, he grabbed his phone and plopped down on his bed once again, casting a glance at the painting before deciding to text Armin to see if he could make it to his party. Earlier, Armin said it was hard to say if he could go, as he had classes to study for and assignments to do. 

Eren typed out a simple message. 

** To: 700-420-5555 **

ey r u  comin  to the party 2nite????

Eren, as per usual, used absolute horrendous  grammar , spelling and a loss of easily comprehensible words when he texted. He simply found it easier, as it was a pain in the ass to constantly capitilize, add punctuation and reply at the fast rate he like to. 

A minute passed before he got a  response . 

** From: 700-420-5555 **

hell yeah

The  response  was short but to the point. And totally something Armin would never say. Eren doesn't even recall a time when he heard Armin willingly curse out loud, let alone do it in a text message. Eren raised an eyebrow, curious and confused. He didn't think too hard about it, though. 

** To: 700-420-5555 **

lmao when tf did u start 2 curse armin 

He wondered if Armin's roommate replied for him. It had happened before, and he wouldn't be surprised if it did again. But why the reply of "hell yeah"? 

Eren shrugged off the thought once again, typing out another message. 

** To: 700-420-6969 **

w/e the  paitning  u got me 4 my bday is hella cool 

props 2 the guy u  commissned

He decided to just remind the fact that the painting he received as a gift was cool as all hell and that he was heavily grateful he had it. Of course, with Eren's typing style it didn't come out as nearly poetic at he would've cared for it to. Whatever. 

Eren jumped slightly when he heard and felt his phone buzz, signaling that he got a text. he quickly read it. 

** From: 700-420-6969 **

this isn't armin lmao 

you texted the wrong number dude 

The typing style was close to Armin's roommate, however, Armin's roommate would never reply like that. Let alone add "lmao" to the end of a sentence. Seems like Eren had accidentally been texting some stranger instead of his friend, and now he knew that he liked a painting he got for his birthday. It probably sounded fucking _lame_ to the other person.

Eren frowned, not exactly sure what to do now. He weighed out his options, deciding that plowing into the situation without a regard of what could happen was a crap idea. (After years of doing it in  high school , he finally learned.) He finally decided that talking to this guy maybe just a little more couldn't hurt. 

What did he have to lose? All this guy knows is his phone number, that he has a friend named Armin and likes his birthday present. It's not like he sent the guy a nude or something.    


____

It was 3 am. And he was still texting this guy. 

He didn't _mean_ to continue to text this guy. But he replied to his _"lol you have a wrong number"_ text and he'd feel like an utter asshole not replying. Although Jean was an asshole by nature, he was learning to tone down his asshole tendancies. (All thanks to a certain freckled friend of his who shat rainbows) 

And then the texts just spiraled out of control. 

The other guy, (whom he learned was named Eren -- he didn't even ask for a name but whatever) stopped texting at around 9pm and started to text him again at  12am . Jean was so caught up in watching Face Off (that sfx makeup show) that he didn't even notice that his phone was lighting up with texts every few minutes until he went to retrieve it to check. 

The Eren guy left him 12 texts in the last hour, each in... impeccable grammar and spelling. The guy even capitalized. Jean's eyebrows rose in slight surprise, wondering why he was suddenly so good at typing in English. 

** Eren **

Jean

Jean

Are you there

Jean

Dude I have no one to talk to reply to me

Dude

Jean

Jean

What the hell are you doing right now reply to meee

Jean

Dude

Jean Dude

Although most of the messages were just Jean's name and dude repeated at least 10 times, he was surprised to find absolutely no mistakes. Jean sat back into his couch and held his phone in a more comfortable way to reply. 

** Me **

what 

Jean didn't really feel like replying in a very long and complex way. It was 12 am and he didn't have the patience to type out _"what the fuck do you want"._ __

** Eren  **

Good you replied

You should send a selfie 

Because you sound cute 

And I wanna know if you look cute

Jean frowned at the rather really forward reply he got. It kinda irritated him that the guy thought that sending texts one by one was better than just sending a big chunk of text all at once. His hands would tingle from the vibrations as much. 

Jean bit his lip. Who knew if this guy was even the same guy as before? His typing style is so far from the original piece of shit undecipherable mess he had the displeasure of calling it English that it was suspicious. Plus, he was asking for a pic of Jean. How does he know this guy's gonna fap to it or not? 

Jean then realized that if he were to send a pic of himself, it would be so far from one  thats  even close to sexy that it would be hard for this guy to wank to it unless he had a very vivid imagination or was just plain weird and creepy. 

Jean sighed heavily. God.... He was going to regret this. After scrolling through his camera roll to find the most innocent picture of himself, he found a suitable one that was fairly recent and the farthest from provocative he could get. He then sent the picture to him.   


**Eren **

Holy shit 

Jean raised an eyebrow. And his phone vibrated again. 

**Eren**

You're fucking hot 

 

Whatever weird response he was expecting to get threw this  response  out the window. This weird mix of stranger and close acquaintance just called him hot. Jean had no idea how to fucking reply now, and his cheeks felt like they were burning. 

**Me**

dude you  dont  just tell people  theyre  hot 

but thanks

now send a pic of yourself  i  need proof  youre  not some creep    


Jean couldn't believe he was asking for verification on this guy's identity just now. Why he hadn't  thought  about it before was ridiculous. Well, hopefully this doesn't go bad and end up biting Jean in the ass. 

Surprisingly, after a minute or two Eren replied with a picture of himself. 

Jean looked at the picture with a blank expression for 30 seconds before he realized something.

This guy was fucking hot too. And he had a dick drawn on his face in permanent marker.   And the lighting was absolutely horrendous. But from what he could see was bright teal-blue eyes, not-pale-but-not-extremely-tan skin and dark brown hair. 

**Me **

WHY IS THERE A DICK DRAWN ON YOUR FACE 

**Eren**

Proof that I'm not fake lol

**Me **

did you have to do it in sharpie    


**Eren**

Yes 

What else would I use nutella???

**Me **

im gonna be honest though your hot 

**Eren **

*you're lol

Also thanks 

Though I can't compete with you ;) 

**Me **

dude have you seen your eyes   


**Eren **

Yes every morning when I look at myself in the mirror

**Me**

oh shut the fuck up

the colors fuckin pretty though   


**Eren**

Dude your's is all sparkly and stuff

Like anime eyes or some shit

It's fucking amazing   


**Eren**

Jean

Jean omg 

Don't tell me my anime eyes comment turned you off or something

Jean

Dude

Don't leave me hanging

Bro

 

By the time 3:30 am rolled around, Jean was asleep, phone resting on a pillow nearby. He didn't mean to accidentally fall asleep, but holy shit he hadn't stayed up till 3 am in a long time and his eyes were burning at everything he looked at. 

______

When Jean woke up the next day at 2 pm he was surprised to see a shitton of messages from Eren. Among those included 2 more selfies from him, one where he was trying to look cool by wearing shades and holding up a peace sign and another where he drew another dick on himself but with nutella. Jean sighed heavily. God, this guy just only got wilder and wilder, huh?

**Me**

i  fell asleep

but clearly u had fun last night 

Jean sent that reply and got off the couch, stretching out his limbs and preparing himself for the day. He had to finish the painting he was working on today, as he was so close to done and he just wanted it to be over. The small intricate details and such specifications for it was tiring to worry about and follow. But it got him money in the bank, so he considered it well worth it. 

After a quick shower, a change of clothes and a breakfast of just toast he headed to his painting room. He grabbed his phone along the way and read the messages he received from Eren. 

** Eren  **

i  was bored k 

too board

i  even busted out the nutella for u 

 

Jean noted that Eren was back to his shit way of typing. Dang. He was getting used to his proper use of English. 

**Me**  

wtf why are you back to typing like a 6 year old 

**Eren **

o 

when  im  drunk

i  type better    


**Me**

that doesnt even fucking make sense

**Eren**

well  thts wat i  do 

btw  i  still think ur hot 

u should send  mor  pics ;))

  
Jean sat down in his rolly chair, leaning back as per usual. His cheeks went from pale to red in .2 seconds at the text. 

**Me **

not  rn

i  actually have a job 

which  i  should probably be doing  rn   


**Eren **

u cn just say ur gonna b busy jeez 

wat  even is ur job 

**Me**

not telling 

**Eren **

thats  LAME 

ur lame jean 

lame  nd  hot 

cmon  tell me ur job

**Me**

oh man would you look at that  its

time to do my job o'clock

**Eren**

bb come on  dont b  like that pls 

**Me**

byeeee eren 

**Eren **

:((   


Jean was lucky he knew how to slip out of situations like that. And with this guy, it seemed to easy. Jean turned his phone on silent, and set it aside. He then got ready to finish this frustrating painting, wanting once and for all to just finish it and get his 500$. 

_______

Jean was _done._ __

Fucking _finally._  

Jean let out a heavy sigh as he kicked his rolly chair backwards and rolled back a few inches, a proud smirk on his face. He got this thing done in only 5 days, intense sketching and color scheme making and tedious work with actually painting it, and he was getting 500$ dollars for it. He didn't know if this was the best commission yet or not. 

Jean applied a layer of  matte medium over the painting after it had fully dried, and then just sat back and let it dry. After this matte medium dried, he didn't have to do anymore besides get it ready to be shipped and send it off to the commissioner. 

Once done with the matte medium, Jean cleaned up his workspace, (at least as much he cared to right now) and grabbed his phone after washing his hands. He saw that Eren had sent him a few texts a couple of hours ago. 

**Eren**

jeaaaaan 

wats ur job

why r u hot

send more selfies

**Eren**

ill warm u up w the job thing

i  work as a pizza delivery guy

so if  u need  a pizza

i  can hook u up 

;) 

Jean rolled his eyes. This guy was thirstier than any other person he'd ever met. Whatever; at least he was cute. And a goddamn loser. All he did was fucking text him, its like he had nothing better to do. 

**Me**

why do u want my selfies so bad

also still not telling you my job 

  
**Eren **

whyy  not 

i  told u mine

wat  do  u want  in exchange for this

why r u even hiding it r u like a stripper or smth?????

**   
Me  **

wtf no 

if  i  was a stripper id be working at night

its  5pm right now

do you even understand strippers   


**Eren **

u avoided my question 

wats ur job

wat r u hiding sweet cheeks    


** Me **

what kind of nickname is  sweetcheeks   


**Eren**

ur doing it again

and  its  now ur name in my contacts    


**Me**

your fucking kidding    


**Eren **

_ Picture message!  _

;) 

**Me**

i  cannot believe you 

**Eren **

if u tell me ur job  i'll  change it 

>:) 

**Me **

use stronger bargains next time    


**Eren**

fuck 

wat  will get u to tell me ur job

**Me**

why do you want to know????

**Eren**

ur hiding it and  bein  all secretive

why  woulndt i  want 2  kno   


**Me**

send more selfies   


**Eren **

wat 

why do u want my selfies

im  not as hot as u 

**Me**

oh but you are 

selfies or you wont know my jooooob   


**Eren**

this is a suspiciously  rlly  easy bargain   


**Me**

take it before  i  retract my offer

** Eren **

sheesh fine  mr  big words 

_ Picture message! _ __   


** Me **

WHERE IS YOUR SHIRT

**Eren**

_ Picture message! _

**Me**

dont fucking add one where youre winking

you sly hot bastard   


**Eren**

:o 

u think im hot

WAIT ur just shifting form the topic at hand

wats ur job!!!  i  gave u nice selfies 

dont leaf  me hanging   


** Me **

leaf? really? puns?

fine 

im  a painter    


**Eren**

lmao  didnt  mean  fur  a pun

;) 

ooo ur creative...  thats rlly  hot 

**Me **

youre just really fucking thirsty   


**Eren**

tru

did  u happen  to do a commission for a guy named armin tho??

**Me **

why are you assuming  i  do commission work

**Eren**

thats  a yes >:) 

u said it was a job soooooo

**Me **

fuck my gigs up 

yeah

that painting you got as a present was one  i  painted 

**Eren**

:OOOOOOO

holy shit 


	2. Poet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren learns Jean's deaf and Jean teaches Eren ASL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit later in this chapter i use the acronym (is that what its called??) ASL. it means American Sign Language, in case you don't know :>  
> 

 

**Eren**

:OOOOOOO

holy shit 

dude

that painting 

is like magic 

who did u kill 

  


**Me **

why the fuck are you assuming  i  killed someone

wait --  whhy  are you assuming  i  killed someone

also thanks  its  my job  i  try 

  


**Eren **

its  eerily calming

like

when  i  look at it

i  suddenly  dont  wanna kick a vase or  smth

who did u kill

to make it so magical

** Me **

no one

i  just attended art class lmao 

**Eren**

i  gotta meet u 

ur hot

ur talented

ur hot

  


** Me **

how do  i  know  youre  not a serial killer??

**Eren**

i  sent u nutella selfies 

cum on 

  


**Me**

again with the puns 

also just because you have nutella  doesnt  mean you don't kill people for fun

  


**Eren**

u have  a point

but  i dont  kill  ppl i  just deliver pizzas

im  a simple man

a thirsty simple man 

  


**Me **

ok  i  guess  i  can put a very small amount of trust into you 

**Eren **

!!! how bout  i  call u to prove  im  not 70 yrs old 

_ Call from eren... _

_ Call declined.  _

??? why did u decline

**Me **

cant talk on the phone  rn

**  
Eren **

too busy  bein  hot??? 

its  fine 

when  u look  like that  i dont  mind 

;)

**Me**

you just get thirstier and thirstier 

the next step from here is to ask me for nudes

**Eren **

good idea

u should send nudes too 

;) 

if u want 2 tho

**Me**

god  youre  ridiculous

  


At this point in time, Jean sighed heavily, rolling his eyes as a small grin grew on his face. Whoever this person was, they were lame, a loser, and just the lamest loser ever. But also had a surprising understanding of personal space/Jean's discomfort at not wanting to be in a call. And it was at this point in time when Jean realized that he was keeping yet another secret from Eren: that he was pretty much deaf. 

If he and Eren got any closer, there was no doubt in his mind that when Eren does find this fact out, it will be.... interesting. With a soft exhale, Jean decided to head out, not really wanting to think about what Eren's reaction to his disability. Because really... why was he worrying about some guy he met only a day ago? 

___

  


Jean's useless wandering lead him, unsurprisingly, at his favorite cafes. He frequented there often, totally not because his friend Connie would give him discounts and occasionally free drink. Hell no. 

As Jean sat down at a table by the window, he began to wonder what it was like to hear the noises of a cafe. He knew that lots of people found the chattering and noises of a cafe to be soothing. And he had heard cafe .. noises before, but it was such a long time ago and his hearing was only getting worse so he just completely forgot what things sounded like as the days passed by. 

He sipped his black coffee, burning his tongue. He'd do that so often now that he simply forgot to even try letting his coffee simply cool more before scalding his tastebuds into oblivion. 

Jean let out a content sigh, feeling  extraordinarily  well today. He'd gotten his work done, and Eren's reaction to finding out he was the painter who did his birthday present went better than expected, though Jean wasn't really sure what he was expecting. 

After taking another sip of his coffee he slipped out his sketchbook and sketched out simple doodles of the people in the cafe. They were very rough and unneat but the forms of people and minimal background detail and such was clear enough to make sense. Jean always enjoyed simply sketching what was going on around him, as it was good inspiration and a nice way to get some ideas for later works. 

While Jean was enamored with drawing one of the baristas at the counter taking orders, he failed to notice someone gawking at him from his far right, almost choking on his drink right then and there. He also failed to notice how this person began to walk up to him, saying his name repeatedly, each time getting slightly louder. 

Of course Jean couldn't fucking notice it. He was _deaf._ __

He did notice when the person got close enough to enter his peripheral vision, tearing his attention away from his drawing to look up at the person who just walked up, and seemed to be saying something--

_ His name?  _

Was this guy saying a bastardized version of his name? Sure Jean was deaf and could barely even remember the sound of music, but he sure as hell would never forget how to say his name. or at least, how his name was mouthed out when pronounced correctly. 

The next thing that Jean realized, was that this guy kinda.... looked like..... 

_ Eren?  _

The Eren look alike stopped repeating his name when he finally got Jean's attention, his eyes widening when they locked eyes. Jean felt something click in his head, and he recognized those stupid teal eyes-- 

This was Eren. Holy shit. 

Eren said something else, but the way this guy spoke was hard for Jean to make out clearly. He roughly understood that he said something along the lines of, "It's me Eren! You're Jean, right?" 

_ Shit.  _

Jean stared at Eren for a few seconds after he spoke, noticing that Eren was past his level of shock and now looked.... entranced? Amazed? His eyes were darting around slightly as he scanned his face for a few seconds and his mouth was parted ever so slightly. 

_ I guess  it's _ _time to tell him. Why the fuck did this happen so soon,_ Jean thought, licking his lips. 

He pointed to his ear, and then shook his head, finally replying in the standard way he did whenever people assumed he could hear. Jean saw how Eren's face changed, gradually, from one of entrancement to one of surprise. His eyes widened and he looked slightly bug eyed and stared at him.    


Suddenly, Eren grabbed a napkin and the pencil Jean was using to sketch and scribbled out in the shittiest handwriting Jean had ever seen, and thrusting it to Jean's direction. Jean raised an eyebrow and looked down at the napkin. He was surprised he could read it. 

_ I'm Eren, the guy you've been texting. You're Jean? _

Eren was staring at him when Jean picked up the pencil and wrote his reply in neat, elegant and long looping letters. 

_ Yeah, I'm Jean.  _

He felt it was a bit too short of a reply, but how Eren was fucking staring at him was making him kinda really damn uncomfortable. He watched as Eren read the reply, eyes squinting slightly. Did he ever learn to read cursive? 

This sort of odd conversation continued, back and fourth. Jean wanted to switch to texting more and more, as it at least was written out in neat letters (but shit grammar) and not in chicken scratch and good grammar.    


_ Holy shit you're prettier  irl  pictures  dont  do you justice _

_   
Wow thanks you're not bad yourself, though.  _

_   
So why didn't you tell me you were deaf? I fucking called you and all you said was that you were busy??? but you  werent ??? you were DEAF!!! _

_   
Dude you don't get how fucking tiring it is telling people I'm deaf. Plus I didn't think we'd even meet irl so I didn't think it was important.  _

_   
Shit sorry I'm an insensitve dick sometimes.  _

_   
Me too welcome to the club  _

They continued this peculiar conversation until they eventually ran out of napkin space (and Eren was getting annoyed by having to constantly get more). And as the conversation went on, Eren and Jean got use to their respectfully shit handwriting and started to pick up on small habits the other did and holy shit was Jean cute when he'd lightly bite on the end of his pencil when he got stuck on what to write-- 

And Eren was too fucking adorable when he'd scrunch up his face when he struggled to spell a word-- 

And it was kinda in that moment that Jean realized that Eren wasn't just some thirsty ass loser he was texting for kinda sorta no reason. Eren was a goddamn cute ass loser who looked better in person and didn't actually seemed bothered by his disability and was willing to work around it. He didn't change his behavio r  to baby him  and  it was so refreshing and nice and it made Jean's stomach flutter like a 12 year old girl crushing on Zayn Malik.    


______

After that day in the cafe, texting Eren became much  much  more enjoyable. Jean felt like after finally meeting the guy and verifying that he wasn't an actual asshole or a 70 year old pervert, it made talking about different topics easier. After a month of talking to Eren, he knew practically everything about him. 

From his favorite color to his least favorite type of pizza, to even how he had accidentally punched a hole in the floor of his treehouse in the 7th grade because he had a really deep crush on some chick whom he forgot the next year. And Jean slowly began to realize that maybe... he was falling for this goddamn loser. 

He'd occasionally get ticked off by him whenever he cracked some shitty ass deaf joke, and the fact that Eren really didn't understand bisexuality so he'd joke about that too -- but whenever Jean would tell him, "hey jackass those jokes are funny" he found it surprising when Eren would actually apologize and genuinely tried to stop being an asshole about those topics. Eren was a breath of fresh air, although kinda really frustrating too. 

Because Eren really liked hanging out with Jean. And not by simply texting, no. Eren _really_ liked hanging out with Jean _face to face._  

Jean didn't _hate_ it  per say , but the language barrier was frustrating to deal with. Every time he and Eren would meet up at the cafe, they'd just end up writing on napkins or texting each other. Jean found it to be the worst way to bond with someone, because it just consisted of one person writing, the other staring, and then switching roles and repeating it till the end of time, it felt like. 

And after a few meetings like this, Jean was beyond knowing Eren's little habits. It was cute, yes, but he wanted to see Eren's reactions and habits doing other things. And after a month full of plain dates that seem to be more fun for Eren than Jean, Jean hatched a great plan to give the hint to Eren. 

Oh yes,  it's  an absolutely amazing plan. And it took Jean only .2 seconds to figure it out. 

His plan? He was just going to fucking tell Eren that the shit get-togethers they had were, in fact, shit. 

**Me**

hey 

want to hang out today 

  


**Eren**

hell yeah 

u  kno  im interested if ur involved

wat  time @ the cafe 

  


**Me**

oh shit a surprise

fuck the cafe

and fuck your boring ass hang outs 

we're doing something different 

  


**Eren**

:o 

im  offended jean :'( 

but ok

wat u got in mind sweet cheeks 

  


**Me**

shut the duck up 

fuck 

*fuck

we're going to my place. or yours  i  dont fucking care 

and  i'm  teaching you sign language 

  


**Eren **

:OOO

i  thought writing on napkins was gud w u 

but ok

lets  go to ur place

i  bet  its  all fancy 

like u motherducker

  


**Me**

shut the fuck up 

ok

ill text you my address 

is 2pm good

  


**Eren**

*shut the DUCK up :) 

censor  urself  im only 12 

jk 

2 is good 

  


**Me **

if youre late ill kick your ass 

  


**Eren**

ill  get there early to kick ur ass before u can kick mine :))    


____ 

Eren, surprisingly did come early, however it wasn't because he wanted to kick Jean's ass.

It was because he was so pumped to see Jean's humble abode. 

He was so excited at the prospect of being in the privacy of Jean's home that he almost punched a hole in the wall. And he kinda wanted to punch Jean too because _why the fuck hadn't he thought of that._  

Regardless, it was happening and he was here. He was glad his shit bike wasn't feeling like being an utter piece of crap and didn't cause him any problems as he biked his way to Jean's house. (It was close enough, and he didn't have a car) When he did arrive, he parked his bike behind Jean's  trash cans  like the brilliant  mastermind he was and went to the door, pulling out his phone to text Jean that he arrived. 

Jean's flat was a simple one story, but it seemed miles more spacious than Eren's sad excuse of an apartment. He wondered briefly if Jean lived by himself or not; Jean never really actually brought up having a roommate. 

Jean opened the door after a few quiet grumbles and appeared at the door opened. He was currently shirtless, but he held a shirt in his hand. Eren waved, trying as hard as humanly possible from keeping his impulsive eyes from looking down. Jean jerked his head to the side, a motion Eren understood as _"come in"_ or _"_ _ let's _ _leave"_ , depending on the situation. 

Jean moved aside as Eren entered, slipping on his shirt as he did so. As Eren slowly padded his way into the house, his eyes grew wide in amazement. This wasn't a goddamn flat a poor student dependant on his own funds could afford. It was something a married couple with 2 kids could afford after a few years of saving up. Jesus, was Jean some sort of rich bastard?

Jean was used to the surprised expressions his friends got whenever they saw the inside of his house for the first time. Like the whole deaf deal, he was so beyond used to it  it  was kinda annoying. 

"Holy shit..." Eren muttered, but it didn't matter if he yelled it or not, Jean wouldn't have heard it. Eren stopped walking once he reached the living room, head whipping around to look at Jean. 

"You live here?!" He said, his voice a tad bit too loud. Jean was able to kinda sorta very faintly hear it. _God, he's probably yelling_ , Jean thought. Jean was able to pick up what Eren said by reading his lips, simply nodding in  response . He jerked his head again and walked past Eren to go to his couch. 

Eren trailed after him, staring at every little thing with wide eyes and an open mouth like a 6 year old at Disneyland for the first time. Jean was surprised how much Eren, a 23 year old guy, had in common with 6 year old children. 

Jean sat down on the left side of the couch, and Eren sat down next to him, though kept a little bit of space between them. He looked around the room once more, leaving Jean to roll his eyes and to pick up a  note pad  and pen he left on the coffee table for this. He began to scribble something out, and Eren heard his pen gliding along the paper, turning his head to watch. 

Once done writing, Jean  flipped  and held up the notepad for Eren to read. 

_ I hope you at least know something in sign language.  _

Eren smirked. Of course he knew _something_ in sign language! He didn't look up and learn the alphabet in ASL before coming here and a few other signs for no reason! 

Although Eren was so confident, he failed to realize what he was signing out with his hands until Jean began to snort, hand slapping over his mouth. Eren finished signing and narrowed his eyes at Jean, frowning. 

He snatched the notepad and scribbled out: 

_ Why the fuck are you laughing???  _

His words ended up in an even more unneat scrawl as he wrote in a rush, but Jean was able to read it at least. Jean wrote back in between small bursts of quiet laughs. 

_ You signed to me that you love chicken noodles _

Eren sputtered, his cheeks flaring up red. Jesus Christ, whatever messed up the message from his brain to his hands had to be terminated and soon because instead of impressing Jean with his amazing ASL skills, he ended up signing something he doesn't even _like_! _What even is chicken noodles!?_ __

After Jean calmed down enough to actually look at Eren, he did something rather unexpected and signed something to Eren. He motioned everything slower than he normally would, just so if Eren was at least somewhat fluent in ASL, he wouldn't struggle with understanding. 

Eren's face as he watched Jean's hands was... entertaining, to say the least. His eyebrows were curved inward, his eyes narrowed as if deep in thought and he could see that he was biting lip. This loser was too into it for some reason and it was _adorable._

Once Jean finished, Eren's eyes locked onto Jean's so fast it kinda creeped Jean out how fast that happened. 

"You signed that I'm a loser," Eren said, his voice low and serious. Not that Jean could hear it, though. 

Jean was surprised. Eren actually knew more ASL then he thought. Maybe this wouldn't be as painful as he imagined teaching ASL would be. 

____

Somehow, Eren actually ended up learning ASL by the time 8pm rolled around. He struggled a bit with complicated signs and he mixed up words often, but God did it feel just great to finally stop writing out everything he wanted to say. He could communicate as fast as he wanted now and didn't really have a limit on what to say. 

After the rather really long ASL teaching session, Eren ordered pizza over the phone for them to eat because after 6 hours of hand movements with meaning, the both of them could use it. 

This was also the first time Jean's ever had pizza actually delivered to him. He'd never been able to call someone because of his shitty deafness, so he always had to drive to some  Pizza Hut  and order it there instead of being a lazy ass and have the pizza come to him. 

Once the pizza arrived, Jean and Eren somehow ended up in a shitty blanket fort, huddled together because the ac kicked in and made it cold. Two pizza boxes with just cheese pizza were left open and abandoned on the coffee table, and the  TV  was playing a show Jean had never seen. Eren's head was leaning on Jean's shoulder, and both of them were simply staring at the screen as it flickered and played through scenes they didn't bother to try and understand. They simply soaked in each other's presence, and Jean wasn't sure if there was even a better way to end a day than this. 

When Jean turned his head ever so slightly to look at Eren and ask him if he wanted to sleep over, (as it was  10pm ) he saw that his teal eyes were now closed, and his breathing was deep and soft and Jean could feet it hot on his arm. He looked peaceful and serene, his brows relaxed and not curved inward. His mouth was parted slightly open, and a small dribble of drool was dripping out slightly from the corner of his mouth. 

_Gross..._ Jean thought. Eren was really cute, though, Jean once again realized. And he also realized that he wouldn't mind if Eren slept over, even if it meant seeing his sleeping face. 

After watching Eren sleep for longer than Jean would dare to admit, he cautiously picked up Eren, surprised when he only stirred slightly and lolled his head against his chest. He carried Eren to his room, setting him on the bed and wrapping him in the softest blanket he had before leaving to go sleep on the couch. 

Hopefully Eren also didn't mind sleeping over at Jean's house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh when i started writing this i didn't know what i gonna go with it? but im like that w everything i write im sorry.  
> hopefully im getting their personalities down. i'm trying to make eren more of an asshole but an unintentional asshole.  
> also jean is totally bisexual and u cant tell me fuckin otherwise  
> again comments/critiques are appreciated (tell me i put too much ducking curse words) 
> 
> hope u guys r liking it so far :>>


	3. The Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silence between Jean and Eren isn't always comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this while u can :)

 

 

When Eren woke up, he did not understand why he was in a bed. A bed that wasn't his own. In blankets that weren't his. 

Upon scanning the room and recalling last night’s events he realized he must be in Jean's room. Lame hipster shit was everywhere. Posters of weird indie-looking bands were pasted on the walls, mason jars were scattered about, and he had a fucking Polaroid camera on his desk. _Amazing, he's a bigger hipster than I thought,_ Eren thought, sitting upright. 

The blanket pooled around his legs and waist while he rubbed his sleepy eyes, yawning softly as he gradually grew more awake. Soon enough his nose seemed to actually work, and he could smell... the weirdest cologne. It certainly wasn't a bad smell, in fact it was a surprisingly nice smell. Eren didn't have enough of his wits back right now to even think of a way to describe it besides _pleasant._ __

Eren slipped out of the bed, attempting to neatly pull the blankets evenly across the bed. It was slightly crooked when he was done, but who cares. Jean's gonna sleep --- 

Holy shit. 

Jean.   

Where the hell was Jean? He clearly wasn't in bed with him when he awoke, unless he was already up. Eren furrowed his brows and let out another soft yawn before making his way out the room. He padded his way to the living room, finding Jean sprawled out on the couch. His blanket was sliding off his body and his shirt was riding up his chest, giving a nice view of his slightly toned muscles.  Eren's brows curved inward when he saw scars of shapes that looked like... slashes. Maybe he could ask Jean about that later... Eren's eyes drifted up to Jean's face.

His mouth was wide open, head lolled to the side, dangling off the edge of the couch slightly. _He's going to have a killer neck cramp later,_ Eren thought, walking closer to get a better view. 

Jean's face was entirely relaxed, different from the way Jean's eyebrows were usually angled downward to make him look more intimidating than he actually was. All creases on his face were smoothe d  out and he looked tranquil as all hell. Though the drooling kinda ruined the sight. Kinda.

Eren smiled faintly, letting out a sharp breath as a laugh. Jean was adorably attractive  even when sleeping. 

Eren stood up straight and stretched, deciding to at least be a good guest and clean up the huge mess the two of them made. He walked around the couch, careful to step over Jean's legs as he closed up the pizza boxes and stacked them on top of each other. Good thing Jean can't hear; otherwise Eren would have to worry about every small noise he made. Even so, he couldn't help but wince whenever the pizza box would squeak. 

He put the pizza boxes on the counter unsure if J ean recycled or something, and continued to clean up the living room. Eren, the genius he is, decides to pile the blankets and pillows from the fort on top of Jean. Apparently Jean was a light sleeper, because even the feel of blankets starting to weigh him down could wake him. 

Eren froze in place, standing in an awkward in-between position of bending over and standing upright. Jean's eyes fluttered open, and he blinked several times, clearly groggy. His bright eyes looked clouded with drowsiness, and Eren could see Jean wondering why the hell he was sleeping on his couch until his eyes met Eren's. 

Eren gave him the most sheepish smile he could muster. "Good morning," He said. 

Jean signed out a lazy _good morning_ back, his hand movements a bit sloppy. Eren slightly wished Jean could speak verbally, as he was just wondering how the hell he sounded when sleep overtook his voice and left it low and husky. 

_I'm so thirsty, it's not even funny at this point,_ Eren thought. 

Slowly, Jean sat upright, ignoring the mess of blankets on pillows E ren tried to drown him in, and Eren took it upon himself to correct his posture.  Jean let out a yawn, stretching out his arms and arching his back slightly as he did so. Thinking for a moment, his face scrunching, Eren  then signed out to Jean, _Do you want me to make breakfast?_

He must've used the wrong sign for something, as Jean arched an eyebrow but it seemed to make sense regardless. _You can cook?_ Jean signed, the smirk on his face making it kinda hard to not want to punch it. Or kiss it. Perhaps both. What can you make? he signed 

_Anything, everything. You choose._ Jean rolled his eyes. 

_ Make French toast.  _

Ok, maybe Eren had been a little too cocky again, as he actually only knew how to cook scrambled eggs and toast. Hey, you can't blame him, Eren's a simple man. A simple, angry and overly-confident man.

_Fine._ Eren finally signed back, earning him a teasing laugh from Jean. Eren's face must've been doing that thing where he knows he got himself into some shit. Eren glared at Jean again, before turning around and heading to the kitchen. 

Once he knew he was out of site, he pulled out his phone and quickly looked for the easiest looking French toast recipe he could find before Jean got suspicious. Settling on one from some cooking blogger whose blog layout looked like something from the 1990s, he got to work getting the ingredients and getting started.

______

Jean surprisingly didn't go watch Eren like a hawk as he cooked, instead going through his daily morning routine of changing his clothes, brushing his teeth... basic hygienic stuff. However, after he was done making himself not look so dead inside he joined Eren in the kitchen, but not to watch Eren and scoff at every small mistake he did. 

Instead, it was to actually help Eren. Although, Jean did scoff a little. But it was because he was using possibly the worst recipe on the internet. 

So Jean ended up showing Eren how to properly cook French toast. And although Jean was unable to sign and cook, he tried his best to show Eren how to do it. He'd do one step and show it to Eren, using his two hands to sign _repeat._ His left was bend slightly, his right an open palm, and he moved his left hand in an arc to touch the middle of his right hand's palm. 

Eren didn't understand the movement at first, but after Jean frustratedly scribbled down "repeat" on a napkin and repeated the motion for repeat until he got it. So after Jean would show Eren one step, he'd make that sign and Eren would repeat what he saw. Occasionally he didn't understand, so Jean ended up doing it for him. 

In the end, they ended up with plates of steaming, golden brown pieces of French toast cut neatly,  dusted with powdered sugar and covered with syrup. Eren couldn't lie; this looked absolutely _delicious._ He honestly had no idea Jean was an amazing cook, too. 

The two of them sat at the couch again, watching some random show that Eren once again picked out. Eren was going to complain that the volume was so low, but he realized that even if it was on full blast, it made no difference to Jean. 

As the two of them ate in mutual happiness to the deliciousness of the holy grail that was French toast, Eren realized that he liked the silence. It was comforting, and it was kinda weird, too. Eren didn't feel like filling the silence was necessary much at all while being with Jean, because it didn't even matter. There'd never be an awkward silence because everything between them was silent. 

Jean was finished before him. His light brown eyes flicked to look at Eren as he ate. His cheeks were puffed out a bit as he stuffed food into his mouth like it was his last meal. _He looks like a squirrel,_ Jean thought, smiling. 

Eren must've felt Jean's eyes practically glued to him, as he paused stuffing his cheeks to look at Jean. 

"Wha..?" Eren said, his words muffled. Jean tried to suppress a laugh. Eren looked even more ridiculous now, maple syrup running down his chin and he looked like an entire hive of bees had stung his cheeks. 

Eren's cheeks flared up a red as Jean shook and suppressed his laughs, whipping his head back to face his plate and to finish eating. Jean could see his lips moving, mumbling something he couldn't read. 

______   


Eren and Jean decided on watching some action movies, as Eren complained that he didn't want to go home yet. And since Jean kinda sorta somewhat liked Eren, he answered his complaints with an eye roll and a nod. 

Both of them were curled up on the couch again, Eren looking like a weird caterpillar human hybrid with blankets wrapped around him like a cocoon, and Jean leaning back against the couch with a blanket pooled around his legs as he wore a hoodie and was warm enough with it. 

They started off with some pretty good ones that Jean meant to see for a while but never did. But as the hours passed the two of them ended up passing notes to each other, too lazy to do ASL but apparently not lazy enough to write. The conversation started with Eren making fun of the way a lady looked in the movie, and it ended up with them talking about random things about this and that. 

Eren suddenly remembered what he saw earlier that morning, littering Jean's pale chest. His scars. They were kind of peculiar, and weren't something you got if you were a pretty clean kid. Eren decided to bring it up, seeing that there was no harm done if he asked, right? Even so, Eren's stomach twisted slightly with nervousness. He could accidentally set Jean off and they'd never be friends again. Eren bit his lip. He didn't think Jean would be that sensitive, but...    


_Whatever_ , he thought. _I'll take the chance._ __

Eren stuck his tongue out a little as he wrote. He tried to write it in the most non-offensive and gentle way his normally brash self could possibly muster. 

_ what's  up with those scars on your chest? I saw them while you were sleeping this morning.  _

Ok. It was kinda creepy sounding that he brought up that he was looking at Jean sleeping. But how else would he explain seeing his scars? He was peeking at him while he changed? 

When Jean read what Eren had wrote, Eren saw him tense and seize up, his eyes widening slightly. His tongue licked his lips, and he stared at the words on the paper. _He knows about the scars,_ Jean thought. This was _bad._ This was just _horrid._ He wasn't sure if he could even come up with a good lie. The way his scars looked were too large and odd shaped to be able to really make up the excuse that he picked fights as a kid. 

Jean looked over at Eren. His face was all scrunched up as per usual, and he was heavily biting his lip. His eyes weren't bright as usual; they seemed to be clouded with worry. It made Jean's stomach twist uncomfortably at his expression. It was a subtle change, but it left a big effect on Jean. 

He turned his head back to the notepad and he wrote out his reply, hand shaking. 

_ I don't want to talk about it.  _

He didn't want to talk about what changed his life. What ruined his dreams. What lef t  him with an ugly body that nothing he did could fix. What made him wish it didn't happen so he could hear Eren's laugh, his voice-- 

Jean swallowed, staring at his feet, which were propped up on the edge of the coffee table as he gave Eren the notepad and pen. 

Eren didn't need to read the paper to know what it said. Jean's expression, his behavio r , the sudden forlorn look across his features. It was painful to know that he was the one who cause his change in behavio r . He felt his anger flaring up, and he gripped the notepad tightly to stop from accidentally throwing punches at Jean, because that would be really fucked up. 

Eren didn't know what to do now. He had gotten Jean into a weird state and he wasn't used to his behaviors in most situations that he didn't know if he should hug Jean or just leave so he can sort through this himself. His hands tightened their grip on the notepad. Eren, quite frankly, really hated not knowing how to help people. And what he hated more than that was being the cause of their pain. 

The silence between them was thick, unfortable and stifling. The once comfortable silence that eased Eren was now feeling like it was constricting. Guilt weighed on his shoulders. God, was he always this much of an idiot?   


Jean suddenly stood from the couch, his blanket sliding off of him and landing with a quiet thump on the carpeted floor. He didn't sign anything to Eren as to what he was doing. Eren simply watched as he made his way down the short hallway and went into the bathroom. 

He let out a deep, hot breath, throwing the notepad in an open area. (Which happened to be the space in the middle of the coffee table and tv set up) It landed with a loud hit as the papers of the notepad ruffled and made noise. _Good thing Jean can't hear, huh?_ Eren thought bitterly. 

______  

After Jean returned from the bathroom, drips of water sliding down his face and dripping from the front parts of his hair, he simply sighed and sat back on the couch, where Eren was still. His arms were folded and he was frowning. He wished he wasn't so stupid and asked that question. He wished he knew the answers, though. He wanted to know why Jean never talked about his past too much. Why he never brought up his parents. Why the only pictures he had lingering around his home were stupid shitty aesthetic photos with shitty film grains and filters overlayed heavily on them. 

Eren also wondered why he felt so selfish. He should've known that that was a sensitive topic. 

Eren got off the couch, and picked up the notepad. He also found the pen, not too far away. He scribbled something down onto the crumped and slightly ripped first page. 

_ I'm gonna leave. Text me if you want to talk.  _

He set it down next to Jean, making sure it caught his attention before grabbing his phone and heading out. He didn't look back to see if Jean even read what he wrote. He simply left, figuring that Jean didn't need Eren there to accidentally screw things up again. 

Eren found his bike, still leaning on the wall behind Jean's trash cans. He took off back to his own crap apartment, already regretting leaving, but he knew that it was for the better. 

Hopefully. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not sorry tbh..... this had to be done.  
> yay im getting somewhere with these nerd's relationship. i kinda liked that i didnt make it all smooth seas ahead bc relationships arent like that man.  
> but dont fret! these losers arent going to stay unable to communicate for long! i hope lmao 
> 
> again pls leave me comments/critiques!!


	4. Weight of Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things eventually even out between Eren and Jean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my fav thing in this world is pretentious jean. like. he tries so hard to be cool. but hes actually a nerd.

Eren was beyond pissed off when he got home. He practically threw his bike onto the floor with as much force he could, not even wincing at the loud creaks coming from the bike in protest of the force. He fished his keys out of his pocket and kept trying to jam the key into the stupid lock but _he kept fucking it up--_

"Eren."

Eren froze and almost dropped his keys. He turned his head and looked at Mikasa, who was standing about a foot or two away, leaning on a wall with her arms crossed.

"Mind telling me about the surprise visit?" Eren grumbled, almost forgetting he had to verbally talk to people who weren't Jean. Which was pretty much everyone else he knew.

"I texted you that I'd be coming," She replies, without missing a beat.

 _Shit,_ Eren thought. He completely forgot to even check his phone when he woke up earlier.

Eren didn't reply, and instead went back to furiously trying to jam his keys into anything that just _wasn't the goddamn keyhole._ He heard Mikasa sigh as she stepped forward and slipped the keys from Eren's hands and easily slid the key into it's hole and unlocked the door.

"Are you ok?" She asked, stepping aside and looking at Eren. Her expression was neutral, but Eren knew she was worried. She wasn't one to wear her heart on her sleeve. She never was.

"Peachy," He replied, opening the door and stepping inside. He kicked off his shoes, letting them land unneatly somewhere he didn't bother to note. Mikasa followed suit, stepping inside and slipping off her shoes neatly and closing the door.

"Eren." She got his attention once again, teal eyes looking back at her.

"What's pissed you off this time?" She asked, tilting her head slightly. Eren turned his head back around and walked to the kitchen, getting himself some water.

"Myself, as per usual," He replied bitterly. In his pocket, he felt his phone vibrate but made no move to see who had texted him.

Mikasa sighed heavily, sitting down at the table. Oh no. Mikasa wanted him to talk about his feelings. It felt like he was back in anger management. Eren took a seat across from Mikasa regardless, setting his cup of water down a bit too hard. Some of the water spilled out from the side.

"Does this have to do with Jean?" Her eyes met his, her strong gaze never once faltering. _Damn her and her strong gazes_ , Eren thought.

Eren's eyes went to his glass of water. "Yeah," He replied, leaning back in his chair. "Yeah, it is. But it's my fault because I'm insensitive and impulsive and-"

"Eren." For what felt like the fifth time today, Mikasa said his name. Eren stopped talking.

"You're not insensitive, but you are impulsive. It doesn't make you a bad person." She folded her arms over her chest, pausing. "But you've learned to control yourself, haven't you? It doesn't mean you don't slip up, though. You're only human."

Eren went silent and he sighed. "I still hurt him. I probably made him remember shit he's been surpressing--"

"Maybe because he's not ready to open up to you about it." Mikasa interrupted, her gaze on him still never breaking. "You've only known each other for what, a month? Did you expect to learn all his secrets?"

"I want to and that's the problem. I want to get closer to him, and I want him to fucking trust me but he just won't let me in." He groaned in frustration, shoving his face into his hands. He gripped at his hair. Maybe he was just pushing himself too much onto Jean. He was trying to get closer and closer to Jean because he wanted to so bad but Jean just didn't want it at all and he's made that more than clear right now but even so, Eren still wants to. He wants to push and shove till he gets his way but--

"You'll hurt him even more if you try and push more. Give him space. Give him time. He's not ready to admit every little thing like you are," Mikasa seemed able to understand Eren's thoughts and it came as no surprise. She was always the one to try and ease Eren's turmoil and conflict.

"Apologize, too. I know for a fact you just left him after realizing you hurt him." Eren frowned. Jesus, it's like she knew exactly what he would do in any situation. It was always a freaky skill of hers.

He gave her a look that read, _Do I have to?_

"Yes, you do. And tell me when you do." Eren groaned softly and collapsed on the table.

"Ok, ok, _mom._ " He said with a heavy exhale.

Mikasa gave a small smile, the corner of her mouth tilting upwards just a bit.  
  
_____________  
After Eren had left, Jean simply decided that a little time at the cafe would be good for him. After that... _event_ with Eren, he'd rather just forget about it and immerse himself in something that wasn't moping around. Finding his sketchbook and pencil, he headed out, deciding to clean up the rest of the mess that was his living room at a later time.

When he entered the cafe, it looked less busy than usual, not that Jean cared or minded. He walked up to the counter, and was greeted with a smile and a wave from Connie.

Jean gave him a curt nod in reply. Connie signed to him, _Same order as always?_

Jean rolled his eyes but nodded again. Connie gave him a thumbs up and inputted a few numbers and whatnot into the cash register while Jean fished out his wallet. Connie put his hand over the wallet when Jean got it out, ready to take out money. Connie shook his head when Jean was about to give him a questioning look.

 _It's on me._ He signed afterward. Jean slid his wallet back into his pocket as Connie slid his own money into the cash register. He gave Jean the receipt, and then went to go make his order, consisting of a venti vanilla frappuccino with caramel mixed in, cocoa powder drizzled on top and no whip with a cream puff. Nothing too intense or complicated, Jean likes to think.

He took his usual seat by the window and was reminded, unpleasantly, of how he had first met Eren here and all the shitty meet ups afterwards that they had. He stopped himself from remembering more. He didn't want to remember what happened earlier. He let out a sharp breath.

Connie brought him his order, and he signed a quick thank you, receiving a bright smile from Connie. He took a long sip of his venti vanilla frappuccino with-- y'know what I'm not typing it out -- and his eyes shifted to look out the window. He focused on the people walking by, some walking alone, others walking with someone else and smiling brightly. It was interesting to see how different other people feel in the same moment as you.

Jean opened his sketchbook and picked up his pencil. Instead of drawing someone else in the cafe, he settled on drawing one of his childhood friends -- Marco. He was long gone now, but he'd never forget about what impact that rainbow-shitting loser did to him. He was the reason he tried his best to not let his disability weigh him down. He knew Marco wouldn't let him live if he did.

Jean stayed at the cafe until he had finished his ridiculously specific drink and cream puff, packing up his things and giving a wave to Connie before walking back to his house.

Connie rose an eyebrow slightly as he watched Jean leave. He noticed that Jean seemed a bit different when he came in today. He didn't crack any jokes at Connie as per usual and he didn't really look too relaxed like he usually did when he sketched. Connie folded his arms across his chest, and decided to maybe talk to Eren about this later.  
 _____

Eren didn't think he'd regret telling Connie about Jean and how he had a slight crush on him. He didn't think this decision would bite him in the ass later in life but now here he was, at the cafe where he first met Jean, Connie looking at him with an all knowing look and a shit eating smirk.

"So Jean came in earlier," Connie started, as he was inputting numbers of the orders into the cash register, his eyes not leaving it as he casually brought the topic up.

"Seemed pretty upset," He continued, then looking at him. Eren resisted the urge to punch his face in, knowing better than to punch someone in public. Especially at someone's job.

"So?" Eren replied, fists curling tightly before he realized he should pull out his wallet to pay.

"Did you fight with him?" He casually replied. Eren almost slammed the twenty dollar bill on the counter in just pure rage.

"Christ, Connie..." He groaned, looking back at Connie. "Yes, we fucking fought. I hurt Jean's feelings and made a mess of our entire friendship so now I have to clean up this fucking disaster." Eren struggled slightly to keep his voice down. Connie noticed the death grip Eren had on his worn down leather wallet.

"Woah, fuck, man," Connie said with an airy, nervous laugh. He held his hands up defensively, even taking a step back. "I was just wondering, didn't mean to set you off. I mean, I've been friends with Jean for a while now..."

Eren slapped his 20 dollar bill onto the counter, not even replying. Connie carefully slid it in his direction, as if he were afraid of Eren biting his hand off or mauling him.

"I'll have my drink to go," Eren said bitterly. Connie simply nodded, handing him the change and the receipt before hurrying off to make his order.

Eren was frowning as he walked down the sidewalk as he made his way home. He was frowning as he drank his bitter as all hell coffee. He was frowning while he took out his phone. He was frowning then scowling when he saw he had 5 unread texts from Armin, 2 from Mikasa and surprisingly, one from Jean. Trying to convince himself he wasn't a clingy bastard, he made himself read Armin's texts first.

 **Armin**  
Hey, Mikasa told me about your sitaution with Jean  
Remember not too get to caught up with what you could've done  
What you do now is more important  
Good luck  
:)

Eren could feel his teeth ache from the sweetness of Armin's text. He decided not to reply, not really even sure how he would reply. He moved onto Mikasa's texts.

 **Mikasa**  
did you talk to Jean yet  
make sure to apologize

Eren didn't reply to Mikasa's either, not because he wasn't sure what to reply with. He just was growing more and more anxious to read Jean's texts that he didn't bother typing out a quick _thanks mom._ He went on to Jean's texts.

 **Jean**  
hey sorry for being a sour bitch when you asked about my scars. its not your fault

Eren didn't even realize he crushed the foam cup in his hand until he felt the absolute searing burn of the fucking coffee on his hand. He yelled out in agony, his hand dropping the crushed cup as his hand shook in pain. _Fucking smooth_ , Eren. He thought to himself.

He picked up his cup and threw it away quickly, rushing even faster to get home to help his surely burnt and still throbbing hand. He let out hisses of pain. God, was he really _this_ stupid? He couldn't believe he actually crushed his cup of burning hot coffee and now had what felt like 3rd degree burns all over his hand. Amazing.

Eren forgot about the text entirely at this point, and when he finally came into the comfort of his shit apartment he flung off his shoes at the speed of sound and sprinted to the kitchen, thrusting his hand under the faucet. He turned it on at full blast, expecting sweet sweet relief--

But all he got was pain. Regret. The 7 stages of grief. His life, flashing before his eyes.

The water was fucking almost as hot, if not even more hot than the damn coffee. He pulled his hand back.

 _"FUCK!"_ He yelled loudly in absolute and pure pain. After realizing he turned on the sink to the hot setting, he switched it to its cold setting. He tested the water with his good hand first to make sure he wasn't cruelly betrayed once again. The cool sink water was a godsend on his sad and _really_ burnt hand.

He let out a long sigh. Today was unnecessarily more like hell than any other day in his life. He looked down at his hand to see that it was red and starting to blister a bit. Life was going to be a bitch while this healed. He shuddered at the thought of even taking a relaxing hot shower.

After calming down and finding a roll of bandages, he wrapped his hand up as best he could while hissing in pain. He then collapsed on his couch, absolutely exhausted. Everything that could've gone bad today happened.

Eren took out his phone and opened Jean's text again, and with difficulty texted back with his non-burnt hand.  
  
**Me**  
u rlly shouldnt be apologizing  
i was the one who asked and made u act the way u did  
im rlly rlly rlly sorry  
if it makes u feel any better i burnt my hand kinda real bad earlier so  
feel free 2 laugh at my pain

 **Sweet Cheeks**  
holy shit are you serious  
that didnt make me feel better  
are you ok???

 **Me**  
ya im ok chill  
itll take a while 2 heal probs lmao

 **Sweet Cheeks**  
whatever jackass  
im visiting your ass tomorrow to see if youre really ok  
also i accept your apology just... be careful next time yeah?

 **Me**  
ye ye of c bro  
i just wanna kno shit all the time lmao  
also u dont even kno where i live

 **Sweet Cheeks**  
then text me your address

 **Me**  
fine

The conversation continued after that, and it was weird how it did. Eren didn't know if he felt relieved or worried that they were back on speaking terms. It was surprising how well the apology went. It seemed like his shit day was getting better until he remembered something.

_He had to work tonight._

This time, when Eren yelled out _FUCK!,_ his neighbors didn't take to kindly to it. From the floor below someone was hitting their ceiling with what seemed to be a broom stick and telling him to _shut the fuck up._  
_____

When Eren arrived at his job at the pizza joint at 7pm, he was glad he could wear a jacket to work. He used it to hide his bandaged hand, which was actually no longer hurting like an absolute bitch. However, he did feel some sort of weird pulsing and slight sting when he bent his fingers. Luckily all he did was work the cashier and the phone. He didn't know how the hell he'd fare if he had to be the one making the pizzas and what not.

As he leaned over the counter, he watched with bored eyes as his coworker Reiner kneaded some pizza dough. It was always slow on the night shift, but he was glad he didn't work the day shift. He'd have to deal with more people and resist the urge to throw a fresh hot pizza in a customer's face even more.

Sighing, Eren stood himself up and went to go wipe down the tables. Watching Reiner prepare pizzas was now becoming boring, as it was his 1,564th time seeing him do it. He could probably recite the steps in full out detail of how to make a pizza in his sleep if he really wanted to.

Grabbing a washcloth and disinfectant spray he got to work, spraying then wiping down the tables.

"Bored again, Jaeger?" Reiner asked, his eyes looking up briefly to watch Eren.

"When the hell am I not bored here?" Eren retorted, taking his sweet time wiping down a table. Mostly all the tables looked clean enough, and had probably already been cleaned by a worker taking the day shift a few hours before him. Eren didn't care. It was better than doing anything else.

Eren hissed in slight discomfort when some of the disinfectant seeped through the bandages. Just then, a telltale ringing of bells by the door signaled that a customer had walked in.

"Welcome to Pizza Hut," Eren greeted, looking up to see who had entered. His eyes widened in surprise and he stiffened up immediately, dropping the washcloth onto the floor.

"Jean?!"

Jean pointed at his ear, and that's all it took for Eren to realize. _That's right, Jean is fucking deaf,_ Eren thought. His cheeks burned with embarrassment and he managed to hide it by picking up the washcloth and scurrying behind the counter. He could practically feel Jean's smirk.

Jean strode up to the cash register, taking his hands out of his jacket pockets.  
_Didn't know you worked here._ Jean signed, his look only getting smugger and smugger. _Maybe I should visit more often._

 _I can switch locations, asshole._ Jean almost let out a loud laugh when he saw Eren spell out asshole with his hands.

 _Whatever, Eren. Also, this is how you sign "asshole"._ He demonstrated it to Eren, making a fist with his right hand with his thumb sticking out (aka an 'A' handshape) and lightly bopping it against his head twice. Eren rolled his eyes.

_Shut up asshole and sign me what you want to order._

_A medium cheese pizza with peppers, olives, sausage, and no cheesy crust or I will murder you._

_One pretentious asshole pizza coming up. It'll be 13.98$._

Jean glared at Eren and handed him the money, and Eren only smirked at him as he handed over his change and receipt.

_Should take 15 minutes or so to finish._

_Come talk to me, then._

_I'm literally at work right now._

_Don't you get breaks?_

_Why do you want to talk to me so bad, asshole?_

_I can't talk to my own friends?_

_We're signing to each other._

_What, I can't sign to my own friends?_

Eren sighed heavily and rolled his eyes again. "Hey, Reiner, I'm taking part of my break," he called out to Reiner, and he slipped off his apron and set it aside. Jean was already siting at a table, and Eren joined him.

_I have a feeling you came here for more than pizza._

_Oh no. I only came for pizza. Meeting you was a coincidence._

_Keep telling yourself that._

_You keep telling yourself I meant to meet you._

_Do you want to loose your sight, too?_

_Screw off, Eren._

_Screw me, Jean._

Eren signed that last thing before he even realized it. He couldn't believe he could accidentally "run" his hands just like he could accidentally run his mouth. This was absolutely unbelievable. How do you even recover from realizing this?

Jean's surprise wasn't very hard to figure out. His eyes grew wide and his pale cheeks were now tinted a light red. Eren's were redder, however.

_I was joking, pervert._

_Your cheeks say otherwise._

Eren glared at him, to which Jean only smirked and sat back in his chair.

_I'm guessing the bandages are for your burn._

_They are. So what?_

_How bad are they?_

_They're fine. They only hurt a little._

_How did you even burn your hand?_

Eren was hesitant to reply. Should he really tell Jean the truth and suffer being mocked by him forever or trust his ability to lie and make something up right on the spot?

After a few more seconds, Eren couldn't come up with anything good enough to use as a lie. Jean would never let him live this down.

_I crushed a cup of coffee, and got coffee all over my hand._

_You're kidding._

_When I got home to wash it with cool water, I then accidentally set it to the hot water setting and..._

Eren trailed off. Jean couldn't even reply at this point. He suddenly burst into laughter that filled up all of the empty space in the pizza place, and Eren wondered if Jean had ever even heard his laugh before. Because _damn,_ it made Eren smile even though his cheeks felt like they were on fire like his hand was a few hours ago. Eren covered his face with his hands, as Jean continued to laugh, before accidentally tipping too far back in his chair and falling.

The noise of Jean falling backwards onto the floor instantly perked Eren up. He saw Jean sprawled out on the floor, groaning in pain and Eren had to hold back his own laugh. He stood to go help Jean back up, but Jean swatted Eren's hands away and got up himself, glaring at him.

 _Are you ok?_ Eren signed once Jean returned to his chair, and Eren sat in his own.

_This is your fault._

Eren was about to reply until he was interrupted by the ding of the bell at the counter, signaling that the pizza was done. Eren turned his head to look over at the counter and saw Reiner setting the pizza box on the counter.

_Your pizza's done. Eren signed when he turned back to face Jean._

_Good, now I can leave and not suffer anymore._

_Hey! You're the one who keeps talking to me._

_Shut up and let me get my pretentious asshole pizza and leave._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt like making eren burn his hand accidentally was a good move on my part. idk how tf i came up w that but im glad i did bc its my second favorite thing. eren accidentally hurting himself.  
> also please do leave me comments!! its chill if u dont but they give me life ok


	5. Of The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean teaches Eren to "skate or die". And then they end up getting ... closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWIE do my summaries suck lmao sorry
> 
> also ive been really into bastille lately so whenever im listening to them and i hear a lyric i like ill be like "man.... thats some erenjean shit right there" and all is good w the world  
> pls do enjoy this chapter its 4k words of pain. not literal pain but i went thru pain writing it
> 
> also warning that there is idk slight graphic stuff?? like im just describing blisters but feel free to skip over that.

After making up, then accidentally meeting up at the pizza place, Jean was feeling 10x better. It felt good knowing that the little bumpy patch between he and Eren was cleared out. Albeit only recently, but it seemed like Eren pushed it behind him, and Jean was happy to do the same. However, Jean still felt slight guilt that he couldn't bring himself to tell Eren the entire story of what happened and the reason why he had those scars. He hoped that he'll get a chance to sometime later, at least.

It was currently the next day since then. Jean was currently trying to cram his pizza box with leftover pizza into his fridge, and just failing completely. Still, he tried, because he really didn't feel like putting the individual slices onto a plate, wrapping it in saran wrap, and then shoving it into the fridge.

He just wasn't in the mood for being _smart_ today.

Jean almost had it in if it weren't for the phone in his pants pocket vibrating and scaring the shit out of him. Jean let out a loud grunt of frustration and threw the pizza box onto the counter before pulling out his phone. He saw he had gotten a text from Eren.

 **Eren**  
eyyy r u gonna cum over today  
my hand is in need of jean :(

 **Me**  
because of you i couldnt successfully jam my fucking pizzabox into the fridge  
thanks  
but yeah ill come over since you apparently cant care for yourself

 **Eren**  
;)  
ur welcum  
ill b waiting

 **Me**  
get your shitty winky faces outta here

Jean then jammed his phone into his pocket. He guessed shoving his pizza into the fridge would have to wait.

* * *

Jean walked to Eren's place. After using google maps to see just how close or far Eren was, he was surprised to find that it wouldn't take him too long just to walk there. Good, he didn't really want to ride his skateboard anyways.

After about 20 minutes of walking (and nearly getting lost), he found Eren's apartment complex and successfully found his apartment as well. He checked his phone and looked at the address Eren sent him just to confirm before pressing the doorbell. He had no idea if it even did anything, but he liked to assume so because thats what doorbells were for, right?

Eren answered the door after a few moments of stumbling around his apartment and almost tripping over the shoes littered around the doorway. He couldn't believe he forgot to clean that up. When he opened the door, Eren was panting softly from trying not to die from slipping on the smooth wood floors. Jean raised an eyebrow at his disheveled state but didn't ask about it, simply greeted him with a wave. Eren returned it, stepping aside for Jean to enter.

Jean noticed the obvious mess in his doorway area, and tried his best to avoid stepping on Eren's shoes as he took off his own. He sent an unimpressed look to Eren, who gave him a sheepish smile.

After slipping off his shoes and neatly placing them along the wall, he stood upright. _Might as well get started with your hand._ He signed.

 _Nurse Jean to my rescue. My hero~_ Eren teasingly signed back, batting his eyelashes and giving him a doe-eyed look. Jean deadpanned and glared, making Eren laugh.

 _Shut up and lead me to your bathroom before I burn your other hand._ Eren calmed down his laughing by biting his tongue and lead Jean to his bathroom. Jean noticed that Eren's place was... small. Kinda really small. It seemed cramped and claustrophobic to Jean, but at the same time it felt comfy and like it was just enough space. Surely Eren lived alone in this apartment too, so it would be more than enough for one person...

Jean snapped away from his thoughts when he and Eren reached the bathroom. Jean reached into his bag and pulled out a small first aid kit he decided to bring, having a feeling that Eren didn't even know those things existed.

He set it on the sink's counter, and pointed at the toilet. Eren took a second to get the hint before closing the lid of the toilet and sitting on it. Jean then popped open the lid of the first aid kit, feeling Eren's eyes watching him. He took out what he needed before closing it, and setting it aside. He crouched down in front of Eren, and gingerly took Eren's hand in his own.

Eren felt heat rising to his cheeks. _Really? Over him touching your hand?_ He thought. Jean didn't seem to even notice this as he started to unwrap his bandages, which Eren neglected to even change since yesterday. Jean visibly cringed at the burn. It didn't look like anything worse than a 1st degree burn, but it was close to almost being a 2nd degree if Eren wasn't careful enough.

Some of the blisters Eren had gotten had tore open and were now flat as opposed to well... looking like a blister. Jean bit his lip and thought for a moment before carefully poking one of the flattened blisters. He looked up and watched Eren's reaction. He winced slightly, and Jean made a small _"mm.."_ in observation.

Jean let Eren's hand rest on his thigh before signing to him, _I can't really apply any aloe on it since it'll sting like a bitch. Maybe once the blisters heal._ Eren only nodded in reply.

After that, Jean wrapped Eren's hand up in new bandages. Eren watched him, noticing just how pretty his hands were. He had long, slim and pale fingers that really looked like those of a painter. They were usually so light and airy with their movements, especially when he signed in ASL.

His eyes drifted up to Jean's face. God, he could never get enough of his face. It was elongated slightly more than the average face, and his features were strong and clean cut. His skin looked smooth and soft. His lips were thin and currently pressed lightly together in focus, and his eyebrows were curved inward. Although Eren couldn't really see his eyes, he didn't have to see them to remember how bright they were. Everything about Jean was beautiful. _Jean was just naturally a pretty person,_ Eren realized.

Once Jean finished, he looked up at Eren and met his gaze, surprised to see that Eren's teal eyes were already trained on him. Jean's warm hands slipped away from Eren's, and Eren had to stop himself from grabbing onto his hand to stop him from letting go.  
  
Jean didn't bother questioning why Eren was staring at him so intently and instead stood up. He cleaned up the first aid kit stuff and closed the box, slipping it into his bag.

The two of them later went into Eren's room to hang out, as it was the room where Eren had a TV hooked up. Eren casually strode into the room and sat on his bed, while Jean lingered at the entrance of the room, looking around.

It was a mess of a room. But judging by the way things were unneatly piled, stuffed under his bed, and into his closet this was a neater mess than it usually was. Jean then noticed the rock band posters and rock shirts pinned to his wall. In the corner of his room was a skateboard and a guitar, both littered with black stickers and both of which looked like they had certainly been used.  
  
Eren's eyes followed where Jean's were currently fixated and he smirked. Jean then looked at Eren and noticed the smug look on his face.

Deciding that he stared at everything there was to look at in the room, he sat down beside Eren on the bed. He turned his body slightly to face him and he signed, _You know how to skate?_ Because he just couldn't bring himself to actually believe that a loser like Eren knew how to skate.

Eren took a moment to respond, and Jean just knew he was either going to terribly lie or tell the truth and embarrass himself. This has happened on so many occasions it wasn't even funny how easily Jean could spot when Eren would do it.

_I can't. I have it because it looks cool._

_Are you always this lame? First crushing a cup of coffee and burning yourself, then having a skateboard because its cool?_

_You're really mean Jean, I hope you know this._

_It's because you're so lame._

_Like you're any better, Mr. Polaroids and filters._

_Don't go making fun of my aesthetic, asshole._

_Maybe get a better one. I'm sure there's good ones in the garbage can._

_Do you want to get punched._

_I'd rather be kissed by you._

_I'll gladly kiss your ass. Oh wait, that isn't your face, is it?_

_You're lucky you're so pretty, because I'm sure I'd be throwing punches right now._

_Sure, Eren. Instead of being a loser who has a skateboard but can't ride it, how about I teach you to ride one?_

_Shit really?_

_If you really want to actually look cool._

_Hell yeah I do._

_Grab your shit skateboard and lets go then._

And that's how these two goddamn losers ended up outside, in the most open area of pavement they could find that wouldn't have the issue of cars. Jean's first few attempts at trying to teach Eren to even stand on the skateboard was frustrating, as he constantly avoided touching Eren at all costs. And his shit explanations didn't really help.

And this went on until Eren finally got sick and tired of it and told Jean to fucking touch him, and move his body around in the way it's supposed to or he's _"shoving the skateboard so far up his asshole the only thing he'll ever be able to say after that is 'skate or die'"_. The threat wouldn't actually be done, Jean and Eren both knew, but the frustration was clear on Eren's face and Jean was also getting fed up. So Jean sucked it up and awkwardly began to move Eren around.

He started with his hands on Eren's hips and sliding up the sides of his chest to get him to stand straight because jesus his posture was horrendous. Eren's cheeks grew bright red and it spread up to his ears, _because why the hell would he touch him there first off all fucking places._ Moving to the front of Eren, Jean showed Eren how to stand. Eren copied it well enough.

After showing and maneuvering Eren into different positions necessary for skating, he deemed Eren ready to get on the skateboard. Eren insisted like the baby he was that Jean should help him on the skateboard. Jean would've protested, but he was not wanting to get worked up again. Plus, he'd rather not be taking Eren to the hospital for a cracked skull.

Jean wasn't expecting Eren to grab onto Jean's hands while he slowly and shakily stepped onto the skateboard. His forearms? Yeah. His hands? Hell no. Now Jean's cheeks flared up with a red that rivaled Eren's, and he stared down at Eren's feet in an attempt to hide it and to be ready for the exact moment when Eren would--

_Fall._

It happened pretty fast if we're going to be realistic. But it felt really slow to Jean. Well, slower than it should've. In one moment, Jean was thinking to himself and watching Eren's feet with deep focus, and in the next Eren lost his balance and fell to the left. Jean's head whipped up immediately when he realized that Eren was falling, hands letting go of Eren's and instinctively wrapping around Eren instead. It happened slow to Jean, but fast to Eren and pretty much any on-looker.

Although the fall wasn't even that serious, Eren was slightly flattered that Jean acted as if he was pushing Eren out of the way of an oncoming train. Though, him wrapping his arms around him kinda didn't do much at all, as his head still hit the floor, albeit not as hard. Eren hissed in pain and tried to bring a hand up to rub the back of his head but Jean was still holding onto him as if it was the only thing keeping him alive.

Eren was about to squirm around to get Jean's attention, until it seemed like it seeped into Jean what was going on. Laying on top of Eren while both are laying on the floor with his arms wrapped tightly around Eren was really not how you should skateboard at all. Jean's arms loosened and he sat upright, straddling Eren's hips. Sorry. He signed out.

Eren's blush from earlier returned, and he furiously tried to ignore the fact that Jean was straddling him. Or even was on him in any slightly sexual way.

 _It's fine. Do you want to get off me now?_ Because I sure don't want you to... Eren thought, after signing in reply.

All it took was Jean to look down for .2 seconds to practically launch himself off of Eren, scrambling to stand up on his own two feet, his cheeks burning like hell. He signed out _sorry_ once again.

Eren pushed himself up, rubbing the back of his head, which was lightly throbbing.

 _You ok?_ Jean signed, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

 _Peachy._ Eren replied, arm falling to his side. _No more skateboarding for today._

_Yeah. Let's head back to your place._

* * *

After having Eren sit on the toilet seat again, Jean checked out the back of his head for anything worse than a bruise. The two of them ended up sprawled out on Eren's bed, the TV flickering light across the room. The sun had set a while ago; and it was dark in the room, save for the light emitting from the TV. It was background noise to Eren as he scrolled through his phone.

Jean was currently hunched over, his knees up and he was using his knees and thighs as some sort of shitty easel. He was scribbling away in a notebook he found, and Eren didn't seem to protest when he flipped it open and began sketching in it. Eren didn't really mind the silence between them. He never did. (Besides that one time, but Eren suppresses remembering.)

Jean's eyes flick up every now and then, studying Eren as he drew. Yes, as cliche as it was, Jean was drawing Eren. Jean's commission work was going slow, and the few requests he was getting was for cheap sketches of simple things that didn't take long for him to complete, so he decided that a little bit more drawing wouldn't hurt. Plus, Eren was a new subject for him to draw.

Eren's position on the bed was a bit hard to really nail. Eren was laying down on his side, curled up a bit and the lighting constantly changed because of the flickering light coming from the TV. The only constant light was the one coming from Eren's phone, the light much too bright for such dark lighting around him but it illuminated his face and a bit of his chest and parts of his arms better than the stupid TV.

Because Jean could barely see Eren's lower body for clearer than 2 seconds at a time, he just drew what made sense and what he could understand when he saw flashes of it. He was so fucking glad a blanket was covering Eren's legs, because he would've just drawn stick figure legs or something if he wasn't.

As Jean was now starting to shade, he flicked his eyes up to look at Eren, surprised when his eyes met Eren's. His phone was abandoned, laying face down a few inches away from Eren's face. Eren smirked at Jean.

"Are you drawing me?" Eren asked, finding it easier than signing right now. Although Jean preferred using ASL, he didn't mind if Eren verbally spoke and had Jean read his lips. He was used to it by now, reading lips.

Jean only sent him a glare, and looked back down at his drawing, his brows furrowing inward as he felt Eren's gaze on him. _Shit._ Now he really couldn't look up at Eren and have it confirmed that he was drawing him. He'd have to leave it to his art knowledge to shade this drawing. His understanding of light and dark in drawings wasn't terrible by any means; Jean just liked using a real life reference whenever possible. It made things look more real.

Jean felt the bed move and shift, and he froze, looking up. Eren was sitting up and moving towards him, and was soon enough sitting next to Jean, looking over his shoulder at the drawing. Jean didn't mind people watching him while he drew, as he grew used to it while going through school and drawing during class. But something about the fact that Eren was watching him made him slightly tense. Perhaps it was because he had a small liking towards Eren and his loser self, or maybe it was because Eren now knew for absolute certain that he had been drawing him. At what Eren probably thought was his most boring moment.

Eren lifted his hand and nudged Jean's, the one that was holding a pencil. He then pointed to the pencil, and Jean turned his hand to face Eren and loosened his grip on the pencil. Eren took it, and moving forward even more, pretty much right in Jean's face, he went to try and write on the page in the free space.

Jean suddenly let his legs lay flat. He was starting to smell the dumb scent of this loser and he didn't want to start becoming a blushing mess again. Eren yelped, though Jean didn't notice, and almost fell on top of Jean's knees. Eren shot a glare at Jean, but turned his head back to the paper and wrote as small as he could while having it still able to be read.

Eren sat back when he was done writing, and Jean picked up the notebook and squinted, trying his best to read it in this shit lighting.

_Why'd you draw me when I look most like a potato?_

Jean almost snorted out loud. How much a loser Eren was was just un-fucking-believable.

Eren handed him the pencil before Jean could tap Eren and motion for it. He slipped it from Eren's fingers and wrote out his reply.

_You probably don't see it, but you actually look very ... beautiful. Like a piece of art._

Jean kept himself from wincing at his shitty and cheesy words. _Fuck_ being an asshole for right now. He already was cliche enough with the drawing of Eren. Who cares if he went full-out cliche? Go big or go home, right?

He handed the notebook to Eren, watching Eren's reaction. As Eren read the smooth looping and flowy words, Jean could see his cheeks getting a red tint, even in the crap lighting.

The notebook was shoved into his lap before Jean could muse anymore.

_I didn't know assholes could flirt. I should punch you._

_You're always saying you want to punch me but never do it._

_Do you want to be punched?_

_I'm not afraid of being punched like you're afraid of doing it._

_Fuck you, Jean. What happened to the cheesy you?_  
  
An idea popped into Jean's head. He had plenty opportunity to do something like this before but he always passed them by. And since he wanted to go as cliche as humanly possible, _why not go through with it now of all times?_

Jean had to suppress a small smirk. He looked up from the paper and in one smooth movement he moved himself forward slightly to get closer to Eren, a hand coming up to cup Eren's cheek and he pressed his lips against Eren's. The taste of the pizza they ordered earlier still lingered, plus the ginger ale he had to drink with it. It was possibly the most unromantic taste ever, but it was _so Eren_ that Jean didn't fucking care.

Because all Jean wanted to do was immerse himself into this moment. He wanted to remember the stupid taste of Eren's lips, the way his lips fit with his own, how his cheeks felt under his fingertips, how Eren kissed him back--

Oh, _God._

The way Eren kissed him back almost left Jean's head spinning.

He was absolute _shit_ at kissing. Eren's kiss was a bit too forceful, and he pushed his lips against Jean's so hard he felt like his lips were going to bruise.

But it was so filled with passion and deep with feelings and reckless and kinda hurt -- but that was Eren. Passion, pain and feelings that stirred deep within him that he hadn't felt since Marco was alive.

They only pulled apart because they were both stupid and forgot to breathe. When they pulled apart, Jean was left panting softly, his eyes looking down at his lap. His hand was being held by Eren's. _It must've happened in the kiss, the sly asshole.._. Jean thought. His lips pulsed; if they weren't bruised tomorrow Jean would honestly be surprised.

Jean felt something press on his forehead and a hot breath brushing against his face. His eyes flitted up to meet Eren's. His face was so close to his and... seeing the smaller details of Eren's face was even more breathtaking than seeing his face from far away. He could see Eren's smooth skin better, the tan color _so fucking beautiful_ it was probably illegal. His teal eyes were a blend of blue, green and shades in between. Jean wished he had kissed Eren sooner so he could see this weeks ago.

Eren didn't feel the need to even ask what that was about. Because he didn't really even care to. Because that was something he wanted to happen for weeks now after he first met Jean face to face. He never wanted to forget the way Jean's lips had the lingering taste of his pretentious asshole pizza, particularly the bite of pepper cause the asshole just loved the things. He never wanted to forget the weird cologne Jean wore that smelt stronger now that he was closer to Jean, the scent bringing up one word in his mind and that was home. People say home is a place, but in this moment Eren felt like it was a person, a feeling, a moment. It was anything but and everything more than a _place._

Eren was breathless. Because Jean was so fucking breathtaking, and amazing, and beautiful, and just everything he didn't know he wanted. But, Jean was also oh-so flawed and that's what made him even better. Jean was deaf, and had a myriad of scars that left his body imperfect and made Jean cringe back memories Eren could only hope he'd get to learn about. He wanted to know more about Jean. He desperately needed answers now but if he had to wait, he would. Because this was someone, he realized in this moment of pure silence, he _loved_. It wasn't some bullshit school girl crush anymore. _It was love._

Eren gazed back into Jean's eyes and saw them clearer than he'd ever seen before and brighter than he ever had. His eyes weren't piercing and intense; they were soft and hazy and they stayed staring back into Eren's eyes, and Eren wondered if Jean felt the same about him. If he felt like Eren was home. If he felt like he loved Eren.

Eren closed his eyes, and the hand holding onto Jean's tightened slightly. He felt Jean squeeze his hand back, and Eren sighed softly. He wished that this moment never ended. He wished that, if it did end, he'd get to experience more moments like these with Jean. Because even if he wanted to punch Jean in the face, he'd want to do it with his lips now instead of his fists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh that was the gayest thing ive ever written before. and its entirely because two boys are kissing. 
> 
> also i got really poetic lmao  
> dont forget to comment and tell me how good my humour is


	6. Fall Into Your Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finally takes things to the next level, and its cheesy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM CRYING IM SO LAME WITHT HE SUMMARIES ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE.   
> also shoutout to ao3 user BLRuinedMyLife because they wrote the funni est thing for the previous chapter: "that one kiss that tasted like pizza - Jean 2k15" its the best thing ive ever read
> 
> another shoutout to sonqo on tumblr for being my beta for the past 5 days whom i've forgotten to credit <33333

For the first time, they actually slept in the same room. And in the same bed.

Eren didn't realize this at first, much like the first time he woke up at Jean's house. It wasn't until he started waking up, slowly, and looked around. Eren almost screamed and kicked Jean off the bed when he saw him, sprawled out and taking up most of the bed with his long body. Luckily he stopped himself from doing either, sparing him complaints from his neighbors and Jean.

As he stared at Jean's sleeping face, he remembered the last time he saw Jean asleep. It was quite literally 2 days ago, but it felt longer. He sighed softly and fell back against the bed, staring up at his ceiling. Jean stirred beside him, soft groans leaving him. Eren turned his head to look at Jean, and saw that he was slowly opening eyes. _Shit, he's still hot as fuck ok._

Jean blinked a few times and yawned before staring at Eren for a few seconds. He gave him a lazy smile and a small wave. Eren waved back. "Good morning," He said to him.

Jean simply nodded, closing his eyes again, leaving Eren to wonder if he fell asleep, but then Jean opened his eyes again and sat upright, stretching out his arms, a satisfied hum leaving his lips. Sunlight filtered through the window and some of the light hit Jean. While Jean groaned as it got into his eyes, Eren could only stare. It made Jean glow, the light, and his eyes looked like they were the brightest stars when the sun hit them.

Jean looked down at Eren and raised an eyebrow. _Why are you staring?_ He signed, his movements a bit sloppy but Eren didn't blame him.

Eren had to sit up to reply. _Because you look pretty with the light hitting you._ Eren paired his signed words with a smile. Jean only rolled his eyes and looked away, his cheeks tinted red.

* * *

The two of them managed to get out of the warmth and comfort of the bed in favor of getting some breakfast, Eren insisting that Jean cook. Jean really wasn't in the mood to protest, plus Jean wasn't really sure if Eren could cook after last time. He ended up making omelettes, one of Jean's favorite dishes since he was a small, chubby kid.

The two of them sat at Eren's kitchen table, sitting across from each other as they ate. Jean was scrolling mindlessly through his phone, and Eren was just thinking to himself. He realized as he was chewing that he and Jean _kissed_ last night. And Jean was the one who initiated the kiss in the first place. Eren's cheeks grew red and hot and didn't notice he was quickly shoveling food into his mouth as he recalled the way the kiss felt, how Jean's lips tasted, and how he was left wanting more. Wanting to _never_ forget the way Jean's lips felt against his own. That was until Jean's hand grabbed onto Eren's wrist, and Eren's eyes looked up, meeting Jean's.

Eren noticed that Jean was reaching over the table slightly, his upper body pressing onto the table, and his plate of food pushed to the side.

Jean sat back, glad to have Eren's attention. With his two hands now free, he signed. _You ok? You suddenly started shoveling food down your throat._

Eren's cheeks burned. His eyes flitted away from their gaze on Jean's and he bit his lip. Jean rose an eyebrow, knowing he was in for something when Eren would finally reply.

 _I remembered the kiss we had_. Eren replied after a few more seconds. Jeez, was he _never able_ to just not tell Jean the embarrassing truth? He's been in this situation like _500_ _times already._

Eren was surprised when Jean's eyes widened and his face flushed red. _It wasn't a dream?_ Jean thought. Holy _shit._ This changes everything. He couldn't fucking believe that he actually kissed Eren and that it wasn't some dream-fantasy he only wished would come true until the moment it did. Jean swallowed, trying to appear cool, calm and collected.  
  
 _Why were you thinking about it?_ Jean signed back in reply, avoiding Eren's eyes. He folded his arms across his chest.

 _Because you kissed me! Why would I forget that?_ Jean's eyes widened once again, and he just knew his blush was spreading up to his ears and a bit down his neck.

Jean had no fucking idea how to respond. He didn't know if he should admit now that there were feelings attached to that kiss and that he wanted to do that for a very long time but ASL could only go so far. Jean gripped on his upper arms tightly.

Just when Jean's eyes looked up from the table he was staring intently at, Eren was over the table, a few inches away from Jean, lips slightly puckered. Before he even had time to think about pushing Eren for his own enjoyment and Eren's embarrassment, Eren's lips pressed against his. It was a light kiss, airy and barely there because Eren was straining so hard to get closer. He was struggling a bit, so Jean took it upon himself just to wrap his arms around Eren's shoulders and pull him closer himself.

Eren made a noise of surprise, though Jean, of course, couldn't tell. Once closer, Eren's kiss became the same forceful and bruising kiss that Jean remembered from last night. He was getting used to it already, and he was starting to enjoy it more and more as well.

Eren wanted to grab onto Jean's shoulders or sit in his lap to get closer to him, but he currently had most of his body on the table. His stomach was really close to smooshing down onto his half eaten omelette, and his legs were resting on the chair. His arms were holding him up and if he fucking moved them he would land flat on the table and his omelette. So he held back the urge and just tried his best to convey his passion through the kiss.

Apparently, to Eren, passion = being rougher, as he was pushing so hard against Jean that Jean groaned and pulled away. Dude needed some serious practice with kissing. Did he know what the word gentle _meant?_ Sure Jean liked Eren's original bruising kiss but not when he _tried_ to make it more intense.

Eren and Jean's eyes locked after the kiss. And they just gazed into each other's eyes, conveying feelings and emotions they both knew words and ASL wouldn't be able to translate effectively. And after a few moments of that, Jean began to realize the absolutely awkward positioning Eren was in. His arms slid away from Eren's shoulders and he sat back a little.

_What the hell kind of position are you in right now?_

_It's the only one where I could kiss you, asshole._

_You could've walked to me._

_And ruin the surprise? Fuck no!_

_You're such a loser._

_Yeah? Well now you've had my loser lips all over you. Now you're a loser too._

Jean didn't even reply; he simply glared. Eren broke out into a grin. _God_ he was a cheesy asshole loser that he couldn't believe he was actually falling in love with. Out of all the idiots in the world--

_Jean was glad it was him._

* * *

After Jean had left, Eren was left alone in his apartment. Immediately after saying goodbye to Jean (and managing to sneak a kiss) he began scheming. Last night, and the occurrences in the morning, were more than enough proof to Eren that Jean at least somewhat liked him -- if not as much, or even more than Eren liked him. So, Eren decided now would be the perfect chance to pounce onto the opportunity like a cat pouncing onto a.. mouse toy, or something.

Eren cleaned up the mess in the kitchen, simply putting the dirty plates into the sink to be cleaned later before collapsing on his couch, letting out a satisfied sigh. He slipped his phone out of his pocket, deciding to plot this over with a good friend of his. So far, he had a vague idea of how to ask Jean out, but he needed to work out the details with someone who was good with details.

_Armin._

Me  
yo armin  
i need help  
im planning 2 ask jean out  
nd i need ur help

 **Coconut Head**  
Oh good you got my number right.  
I'll help you out. You and Jean are cute together.

 **Me**  
ya i kno   
ok so i got this small idea   
i wnna ask him out in a way tht deals w pizza  
any ideas y/n

 **Coconut Head**  
Oh, God.   
So cheesy.   
Why not just write "Be my boyfriend?" or something on the inside lid.   
Or maybe write it out in his favorite topping?

 **Me**  
thts gonna b a shit ton of peppers lmao  
nice pun  
nd good idea

 **Coconut Head**  
Why not deliver it to him yourself, too?   
Makes it more .... I don't know, special?

 **Me**  
OH   
OH SHIT  
ARM   
WHAT IF I PUT A PUN IN THE PIZZA

 **Coconut Head**  
You're absolutely a child. But it isn't a bad idea.   
I'm guessing it has to be a cheese pun, or something.

 **Me**  
U KNO IT!!!!! >:)))))  
ITLL B LIKE   
"its not CHEESy to date me"

 **Coconut Head**   
Jean will be sure to swoon. :)

 **Me**  
THNAK U ARM I OWE U ONE

 **Coconut Head**  
Don't worry about it.   
Good luck with Jean!! :D

Eren turned off his phone with newfound feelings of confidence and nervousness all at once. Now with the perfect plan to ask Jean out, Eren could only really look forward to work that night, and the events that would hopefully be carried out today. Eren couldn't hold back the grin that grew on his face. Finally, he could just kiss Jean and hold his hand and do dumb stupid lovey-dovey shit and not really have to think about it first.

Ah, today was a _good fucking day._

* * *

Eren walked into the pizza joint, his head held high and a sense of excitement bubbling inside of him. He had spent the day constantly thinking about his plan. Over and over he played through the scenario of what would happen tonight, and it only made his stomach twist and flip and flop and his mouth to spread into a grin. He texted Jean earlier that day too, and he did his best to avoid accidentally letting slip about his plans and the thoughts running wild through his head.

As he tied on his apron and began setting up his work area, his co-worker Reiner eyed him while he flicked flour onto the stainless steel counter top.

"What's got you smiling?" He asked, flour puffing up and around the work area, sticking to his clothes and skin. Eren then noticed that he was still smiling like an absolute idiot.

"I've got a plan." Eren replied, moving behind the counter to look for any notes about anything he should keep in mind. Sometimes his manager or one of his co-workers left one, but he found nothing, so he leaned back against the counter.

"Hm? You don't plan on burning this place down, do you?" Reiner replied, starting to knead some dough.

"Fuck no! I've got plans to ask someone out. And I need your help with that, actually." Reiner's eyebrows raised when Eren said he needed his help specifically. He really had no idea why the hell he would play a key part in this plan.

"And why am I needed?"

"To make the pizza! Or help me do it."

"You're asking someone out... with pizza?"

"It's gonna have words written with peppers on it and everything,"

"Oh, God..."

"So," Eren turned his body to face Reiner, a determined look on his face. "You gonna help me?"

"Might as well." Reiner replied with a soft sigh, and Eren grinned triumphantly, standing up straight.

"Let's get started, then." He walked over to Reiner's workstation, and the two of them got to work. Eren did as much as he could when making the pizza. His hand was still bandaged, so kneading and touching the dough wasn't really something he should be doing. But he did apply the sauce and the toppings, of which he made sure to spell out "it's not cheesy to date me" in sliced green pepper over top before the pizza was slid into the oven.

* * *

Eren slipped his money into the cash register before he took off to deliver the pizza. Since it was just him and Reiner working, the two of them would alternate between driving the delivery car and doing deliveries. Even though it was Reiner's week to be handling the deliveries, he let Eren do it just for this delivery. After all, it seemed very important to Eren to get this done. Might as well let the kid do it instead of having him just walk there.

It wouldn't even have been a problem to walk, actually, as it barely took 5 minutes to get to Jean's place. Eren parked the car by the front of Jean's house, sliding out of the seat and grabbing the pizza, closing the door with his hip and stepping up to the front door. He smoothened out his hair as best he could, and looked at himself. He had some flour speckled onto his jeans, and some on his shirt from getting his apron off a bit too carelessly, but it wasn't too bad. Once he deemed himself ready, he broke out into a grin and quickly texted Jean that he had a delivery for him.

When Jean opened the door, he was extremely confused. Not only was his text confusing as all hell, (because he surely did not order any pizza, or even ask Eren to get him some) but the fact that he was actually here, in front of him and beaming with a fucking pizza was making this ridiculous, almost.

Jean jerked his head back and rose his eyebrows as a question of do you want to come in? and Eren nodded in reply. Jean stepped back and Eren walked in. He headed right to Jean's kitchen and set the pizza down, before turning around and waiting for Jean to come. God, he was so excited for this, he felt ready to fucking explode. He was also extremely anxious, and a few negative thoughts strayed in his mind but he managed to push them away before dwelling on them. He could only believe that this would end well.

Jean stopped in front of the table, and rose an eyebrow. _What?_ , Jean signed.

 _Open the box._ Was all Eren replied with. Jean eyed Eren, really confused and really lost as to what was going on. First Eren shows up with a free delivery of pizza, and now he wanted to watch him open it with a stupid grin on his face. Was he going to sit and watch him eat it, too?

Jean stepped closer to the table and reached forward to pull the pizza box closer to him. Eren was still staring at him, eagerness in his eyes. He looked ready to fucking explode. Letting out a sharp breath, he opened the pizza box.

Jean would've screamed if he didn't know better. He also would've chucked the pizza box at Eren. But his hands simply curled up and tightened as he stared at the almost incomprehensible words written in green pepper upon the pizza.

 **"It's not CHEESY to date me".** The words stared at him, and he stared right back. He really didn't know what to do right now. His heart was racing really fucking fast right now and he could feel it, he could feel it pulsing in his chest. He tore his eyes from the pizza to look at Eren.

He didn't know how the _fuck_ it happened, but he was suddenly kissing Eren. He had closed the few feet of distance between them and grasped the sides of Eren's face and he kissed him. _Hard._ He could feel tears pricking the edges of his eyes and he could feel them, hot and wet, sliding down his cheeks and he let out a soft, choked sob into the kiss and pulled away, pressing his head onto Eren's.

More tears fell, and Jean just didn't know why but they did. They landed on Eren's stupid ass black rock t-shirt with some band he didn't care about. And then they were wiped away by warm fingers. Eren's fingers. They had an unfamiliar gentleness; they were light and careful as they brushed away his tears and Jean opened his eyes, looking at Eren.

"Don't cry..." Eren said softly, and it only made Jean cry _more._ And then he began to realize... he finally got why he was crying like a _fucking baby._ The pieces clicked together finally. He was crying because this was the first time someone asked him out. This was the first time someone cared to treat him like another human fucking being, and stayed with him even after learning of his disability. This was the first time someone finally fucking understood that he was more than his inability to hear. He was more than a deaf guy.

And this was the first time someone loved him.

Jean pressed his head into the crook of Eren's neck, his nose pressing against his skin as he cried. His sobs leaving him a shaking, ugly, and blubbering mess as he wet the skin of Eren's neck with his tears. And Eren held onto him, his arms wrapping around him in a comforting embrace. He let him cry. He let him leak out the feelings he pushed back and hid away because they weren't important but now... now Jean saw that they were.

Jean's hands gripped tightly at Eren's shirt, and he just cried and shook and let out choked sobs and gross sloppy noises that probably sounded gross to Eren but he couldn't fucking hear them to know but he was beyond caring right now.

Soon, Jean's sobs slowed down, and the tears stopped falling and he now was just a hiccupping, snotty mess. He pulled his head away from Eren's shoulder, wiping and rubbing his eyes. _God_ , this was embarrassing. But the fact that Eren stayed with him through it was... sweet. _Really_ fucking sweet. Eren's fingers lightly rubbed circles into his back, and Jean met Eren's eyes, and he nodded.

Eren understood immediately. He was nodding yes to the question that was hidden underneath the pun and the cheesiness. (ha that's funny what a pun) _He was nodding yes to being his boyfriend._

And Eren kissed him this time. Rough and really kinda gross because Jean was still snotty and hiccupping from crying earlier but _who the fuck cares?_ He got the answer he wanted for a long fucking time and he had to know this was real -- he had to know this wasn't some really detailed dream. And when Jean kissed back, needy and sloppy, he knew for a fact that it was real, right then and there.

The kiss was a sloppy mess, but it still left the two of them breathless when they pulled away. Eren smiled, a gentle smile that conveyed his happiness, his joy, his relief that he finally got the answer to the question that was making his stomach twist and turn, and making his heart race at the same time. Jean smiled back, a small smile, but it conveyed his own elation, his own joy that finally they were closer and he finally understood that Eren's kisses before this had more meaning.

They stood there in the kitchen, Eren's arms wrapped around Jean and Jean with his head pressed back against Eren's shoulder, enveloped in the silence that Eren grew all too familiar with and always loved. He was content with the silence. He didn't need words for Jean to understand, and that's what he loved about Jean.

Jean closed his eyes, and sniffled, his nose stuffy and clogged, but it didn't dissolve the emotions he was feeling right now. He didn't think anything could. He sighed softly, his breath hot and soft against Eren's skin.

_What a good fuckin' day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes. making jean cry. pain is my middle name. 
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoy my cheesiness, and the slight sadness but finally after 5 chapters theyre fuckign dating who knew the day would come.   
> as usual pls leave me comments about armin being called coconut head and how much you love cheese puns ;)


	7. Weight Of Living, PT. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> took me a week after the last update but heres chapter seven 
> 
> #teamnoodles4life

It's been 6 months. 6 months since he met Eren and then began to date him. 6 months of an interesting relationship that he never experienced before and 6 months of feeling more like a human and less of a burden to those around him.

Sure, the two of them did have minor quarrels. They usually never escalated to a point that it blew up and the two of them were considering throwing the other out a window. And the fights were usually about small things. Such as Eren eating the last pop tart after Jean was so ready to eat it after a long day of painting, or who would be player one when they played video games together.

It was basic relationship quarrels, and Jean would be lying if he said that he didn't actually find it cute how heated Eren would get in some of those small arguments. His cheeks would be a blazing red and he'd get this intense look in his eyes about a goddamn pop tart. It reminded Jean of an angry Chihuahua.

The two of them were currently at Jean's place. It became a common thing after a while; one of them just hanging out at the other person's house just because it felt nicer than being alone in their own home. Their relationship was at a point now that just being in each other's presence was fulfilling.

Eren was fiddling around with the channels on Jean's fancy ass TV. The thing had clearer HD than his own goddamn eyes and it was ridiculous and the controls were so complex it was as if Jean designed the TV himself.

Jean, on the other hand, was nearby in the living room, by the windows where he was currently painting. It felt nice to have a slight change in scenery while he painted. The lighting in this area from the windows was way better than his reserved painting room. It was a refreshing change he was surprised he didn't make sooner.

Eren let out a loud groan, throwing his head back and his arms flopped into his lap. He really just couldn't figure out how the hell to change the channel. The easiest thing possible to do with really any TV and Eren couldn't fucking do it with Jean's stupid TV. Eren closed his eyes and just sat there in defeat, listening to the infomercial channel that was currently advertising some fancy mop or something. Jean's eyes flicked up from the jar of water he was using to clean his brushes and looked at Eren, a small smirk on his face. Finally defeated, Jean thought.

Jean put his brush down and stood, quickly wiping his hands clean before walking over to Eren. He slipped the remote from Eren's grasp, and turned to face the TV, changing it to one of Eren's favorite channels: Animal Planet. He set the remote down back into Eren's lap before sitting down next to Eren. He didn't think having a small break right now would hurt.

Eren watched Jean as he easily changed the channel, doing it with such ease it was fucking annoying. Damn Jean and his ability to easily use the technology in his own home. How fucking dare he.

The two of them sat there for a while, watching a new episode of _"Too Cute"_. Jean had no clue as to why Eren, of all people on this planet, enjoyed watching this show so much. It was too cute, as the name suggests, but out of all shows there were available, Eren's favorite is the one about clumsy baby animals and how they grow up from tiny babies to larger, fatter babies. Jean didn't know if it was funny or adorable.

After the new episode aired and an older episode began to play afterwards, Eren's attention started to drift away slightly. He'd already seen this episode, far too many times, and as much as he loved Noodles he already knew about his stupid adventures. Eren's eyes drifted to the coffee table.

He began thinking about how nice his and Jean's relationship was. They didn't have to speak to each other to enjoy each other's presence, but it was still enjoyable to do so. Jean genuinely liked having Eren freeload here all he wanted, no longer complaining about Eren leaving his clothes and toothbrush here. Eren was happy with the way things were right now. But there was something that always nagged him, something he wanted to know more about. Something he knew he shouldn't press about but.... isn't 6 months enough time? Jean was opening up more and did talk about his past more. Surely it was a sign that Jean was willing to talk about more, right?

Eren looked at Jean, and nudged his hand to get his attention.

 _Can I ask you something?_ Eren signed once Jean's eyes landed on Eren. Jean gave a simple nod, shifting his body so he was facing Eren. This better be a good question, because Noodle was becoming friends with a guinea pig right now and it was _fucking adorable._

 _Can you finally tell me,_ Eren paused. What exactly did he want to know? There was a lot he wanted to know more about, but he really couldn't pinpoint what exactly he wanted to know.

 _More about your scars?_ He finally finished, guessing it would be good to start there. Eren's eyes were lit up with hope. Maybe now he wouldn't have to constantly wonder why Jean hid himself so much and didn't want to speak about it. Maybe now he could finally understand Jean better.

Jean turned his head away and Eren's face fell instantly. Oh no. He was going to refuse--

 _No._ Jean simply replied, not giving any more after that. Eren frowned. He had to be fucking kidding right now. He swore that 6 months was enough time but apparently not. His head turned back to the TV, angrily watching the kittens wobbling around. Jean rolled his eyes at Eren's reaction. Was he always this much of an immature asshole when he didn't get what he wanted? Jean thought.

The two of them watched the TV together again, though the comfortable feeling between them was now tension that was steadily growing. Eren was debating on whether or not he should bring up the topic again to ask why the _fuck_ Jean is being such a defensive dickbag before Jean nudged his leg with his own, getting his attention.

Eren looked at Jean, his eyes narrowed.

 _Mind telling me why you're being an ass right now?_ Jean signed, raising his eyebrows.

Eren rolled his eyes at his comment. He, Eren Jaeger, was being an ass right now? Was he understanding him right?

_I'm not being the ass. You are._

_How am I being the ass right now?_

_You're refusing to tell me something I should know about._

_Should know about?_ Jean scoffed. _You don't have some right to know everything about me, asshole._

_But I do! We're dating, and I think I deserve to know why you have scars all over you._

_Leave it to your imagination._

Eren groaned loudly and pushed himself up from the couch, his brows curved inward and he looked beyond pissed right now. He knew he shouldn't let his emotions get the best of him right now but--

_I've been fucking patient, Jean. I've waited 6 months since the day I first asked about it and I've wondered and thought about it for 6 fucking months and you're still being defensive. Still wanting to hide away. I want to know you better, Jean. I want to know everything about you so I can understand better but I can't when you just refuse to let me know!_

Eren threw his hands up into the air in frustration. _Fuck_ , did he hate ASL. He hated not being able to yell right now since Jean was fucking deaf and how hard this was to sign out. He hated not being able to have Jean hear how pissed off he was right now, because his reactions alone weren't enough. He just knew they weren't

 _It's frustrating and it sucks knowing that you don't trust me enough to tell me. It hurts to know that while I've been trying my damn best to accommodate to you and to get your trust and to get you to open up but it's just doing nothing._  
  
Eren stopped after that. Signing out all this was pissing him off even further. He let out a heavy sigh, and looked at Jean, stopping his pacing around that he noticed he was doing.  
  
Jean was watching him with cold, narrowed eyes, his arms folded. His eyes met Eren's, and Eren felt as if he'd die by Jean's gaze now. He didn't feel sorry for admitting all this, though. Because it was about damn time Jean understood how fucking bullshit this was.

Eren let out another deep breath, his hands curling into fists. He was fucking done with ASL.

"I fucking wish you weren't deaf," Eren hissed out. There was no reason at all for him to spit out the words as harsh as he could. There was no reason as to why he spoke out those words. But signing out those words weren't and never would be as harsh as if he were to speak it.

Jean's face changed so fast. His intense glare that was so focused on Eren was now less intense and diffused. His brows that were curved and scrunched inward were now raised and his eyes were wide in shock. There was no way Eren had just said that. Eren was so fucking caring and willing to accommodate to him but apparently it was for his own selfish wants.

Jean unfolded his arms.

_Why is this suddenly about you? Do you know how selfish you're being right now?_

Jean's hands were shaking and he was on the brink of tears.

_You're a fucking asshole. A selfish, disrespectful, invasive asshole. Do you not get that if I don't want to talk about something like that it isn't about you? Do you not get how those scars fucking hurt me? They're more than scars on my body, Eren. They've left scars in my memories. I can't forget what happened that left me with these scars. I can't forget how it screwed up my life. You're an asshole for not respecting my space, you're an asshole for not understanding, and you're an asshole for saying that you wished I wasn't deaf._

Jean stood up onto his feet, and his intense glare was back. His lips were pressed in a tight line.

_Get out of my house._

Eren folded his arms across his chest.

"Or _what?"_ Eren spat back.

Jean didn't even hesitate for one second after Eren's reply. He snatched Eren's jacket that was laying on the arm of the couch, grabbed Eren's arm in a deathly tight grip and began to drag him to the door. Eren began to voice protests, but it fell upon (literal) deaf ears. Eren tried to pry away from Jean's grip as well but it was to no avail.

Jean threw the door open and practically threw Eren out the door. He threw his jacket at him after he threw Eren out and stared at him, his gaze hard and cold like steel.

 _Don't come back until you get that stick out your ass._ Was all Jean signed before slamming the door loudly in Eren's face.

Eren didn't know what he was feeling right now. As he sat there on the steps outside of Jean's door, his ass hurting, his body cold, his mind foggy, he didn't know what he was feeling.

Eren sighed, slipped on his jacket and got onto his feet. There was no reason to loiter around at your... _boyfriend's? Ex's?_ He didn't know what he and Jean were right now. A mess, probably. Eren shoved his hands into his pockets and walked back home.

Eren's anger was slowly fading away the more he walked. His mind kept drifting back to the argument, and what Jean had said to him. Was he really being selfish about this? Was he just playing the victim card in this situation? Did he really let his emotions get to him?

Was he really _that much_ of an ass?

Eren still didn't know what he was feeling by the time he reached his apartment. He pulled out his keys and jammed the key into the hole, surprisingly getting it right the first time. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, kicking off his shoes as usual. His shoes landed near a pair of Jean's. Idiot left them here, somehow.

Eren collapsed into his couch, staring at the wall in front of him. Upon its blank, white surface hung one of Jean's paintings. It wasn't one that he was commissioned to do as Eren's birthday gift; it was instead one Jean had painted as a gift for Eren on their first date.

Eren kept his eyes away from the painting and instead stared at the blank part of the wall.

"You fucked up, Jaeger. You have really fucked up," He said to himself quietly, frowning. He didn't know how he'd fix it this time. Last time he and Jean fought over the same exact thing, Jean technically was the one to have fixed it. And Eren knew Jean wouldn't do it again because it wasn't his fault at all for that. Jean wasn't the one who said selfish things and was too invasive and nosy. Jean wasn't the one who wished his boyfriend didn't have a disability.

Eren ran a hand through his hair. He knew apologizing was really the only thing he could do to get himself out of this mess, but it felt like it would be too little for him to do at the same time. Just saying sorry wasn't going to erase what fucked up shit he said. A simple apology won't get him and Jean on better terms.

Eren went to bed that day with a lot on his mind, sleep not really one of them.

* * *

Somehow, for some reason, and for whatever purpose--

Eren bought a puppy.

It started out innocently enough. A few days after Eren and Jean fought, Eren was just a fuming and moping mess. He spent hours pacing around and thinking over the argument he and Jean had, pulling at his hair and groaning loudly. Finally, after doing that and going through his daily routine, he decided to get away from the thought of Jean and how he fucked up so bad with the only way he knew how --

Dogs and cats.

Eren was a frequent visitor to the animal shelter a little ways away because it was the best way to cope with frustration and self loathing. Bonding with the animals who needed some love was therapeutic in a way, and it benefited him, the animals, and even the shelter. He helped by getting some of the more excitable animals to calm the fuck down and getting the shy ones to gradually open up. He took pride in his talent with animals.

After cleaning himself up enough to be seen by the public he headed out and went to the shelter, arriving not too much time later. He greeted Historia who was at the front counter, busy scribbling something down. He's been here often enough that Eren was allowed to just let himself into the back, where the animals were. He headed to the dog area first, hearing some of the dogs yapping and barking loudly.  
  
He ran into Ymir as well, one of the other workers here. She was busy filling up the dog bowls with food, and clearly the reason as to why the dogs were riled up. She gave a short wave to Eren when he entered, saying nothing as she went back to filling up the dog bowls.

Eren headed towards the back of the large room to where a Pomeranian dog was. The small dog was pregnant and had been for a few months the last time Eren had saw her. Now that he thought about it, she should be ready to have her pups or she already did. When he reached her caged area, he crouched down behind the cage wall. He smiled when he saw that the pom was now a mother. Her small pups were all yapping loudly and whining as they crawled around the pink blanket, colliding with each other and playing with a few small toys around the pen.

Eren lifted his arm and reached over and into the pen, petting the mother of the loud pups. She licked his hand a few times before getting occupied with licking her pups as well. Eren pulled his hand back but left his arm hanging over the edge of the cage wall, watching the pups. God, they were adorable. He reached back in and started to play with a feisty pup that growled and tried attacking his hand.

Ymir walked up from behind Eren and crouched down beside him.

"Those puppies were born a about a month ago," She started, watching Eren's hand and the pup he was playing with.

"We're offering to have them be adopted for free, since once they grow up we won't really have space for them." Ymir continued, and Eren nodded in reply. He felt slightly bad now, as these precious little puppies would have to be separated by their mother and moved to another shelter or even be euthanized if they weren't adopted. But with this new knowledge he also got an idea.

"How can I adopt one?" Eren asked after a few moments of silence. Ymir grinned.

After saying that, Ymir told him to choose a pup and then join her at the front desk to fill out some paperwork and what not. After Ymir left, Eren spent some time playing with the pups before choosing one; a white fluffball that he played with first, the one who kept thinking his hand was some enemy that needed to be vanquished. He then went to the front, just as Ymir said, filled out the necessary paperwork, got some helpful pointers and tips, and then was leaving the place with the pup in his hands.

Saying Eren bought the puppy would be stretching the truth just a little. He got the puppy for free, but with the paperwork he filled out it felt like he was actually purchasing the little guy. He still couldn't believe he actually did it, though.

His grand idea and main reason to get the pup was to make his apology to Jean somewhat better. He thought that if he gave Jean the pup as a present, it might make his apology more sincere since... he literally got a puppy for this. It was a pretty dumb plan and Eren knew it, but it was the only thing he could honestly come up with and it seemed pretty promising, if he was able to execute it right.

Deciding to do it today, he pulled out his phone after managing to hold the pup carefully with one hand. He sent a text to Jean.

 **Me**  
hey jean  
is it ok if i come over to apologize?

Eren decided texting like a very drunk man wouldn't be the best decision.

 **Sweet Cheeks**  
fine  
i'll leave the door unlocked.

 _Score,_ Eren thought. This was now easier since Jean was now back on speaking terms with him. Now onto phase two of his genius plan that he just came up with after leaving the animal shelter.

Eren slipped his phone into his pocket and held onto his lil pup better with both hands as he started to walk in the direction of Jean's house. On the way there, he made sure the pup had a little potty break and was slightly pissed that he couldn't give the little guy a drink as well. Oh well, he really didn't know that he'd even be getting a pup in the first place, so he couldn't be too mad.

Eren reached Jean's place in no time, and while he was going up the three steps in front of Jean's front door, he realized that he kinda had to hide the pup if this was going to be a surprise. After looking around then looking at himself, he sighed softly and as carefully as he could placed the pup into his jacket. There was now an obvious lump settled at the bottom of Eren's jacket. At least the little guy was warm against his stomach.

Eren sent Jean a quick text before going up the steps carefully and opening the door. Just as Jean said he would, the door was unlocked. Eren stepped inside, closing the door and locking it behind him before awkwardly managing to get off his shoes without bending down or kicking them off. Lord, this was difficult and Eren was slowly regretting this decision.

Jean stepped out from the hallway and was in the living room, which was a straight path of a few feet from the door. His arms were folded and he was watching Eren struggle with more than a few questions and an interested look on his face.

When Eren finally managed to slip off his shoes and kick them into a neat looking arrangement by the door he stood upright, quickly shoving his hands into his pockets and was luckily able to cup his hands and hold up the pup. Upon feeling Eren's hands around him the pup started to bite at his fingers.

Eren looked at Jean and gave him a cheesy smile, and in reply he got an eyebrow raised from Jean. Jean's arms unfolded.

 _Did you get fat?_ Jean teasingly asked, eyes flicking down to the lump that was near Eren's stomach. _Fuck._ He needed his hands to reply. Eren broke out into a cold sweat. Shit, this was just going downhill and there was no way he could play this off well enough and be smooth about it.

With hesitation, Eren slipped his hands out of his pockets and slowly zipped down his jacket. He was careful not to let the pup spill out with his free hand. He didn't zip open his jacket all the way, just enough for Jean to see the pup resting in his jacket.

The little guy yapped and went back to nipping and playing with Eren's fingers, and Eren's eyes trained on Jean.

Jean's eyes slowly widened when he realized what the fuck was in Eren's jacket. This was the dumbest thing he ever thought would happen. His lips parted slightly in absolute surprise and he stared at the puppy biting Eren's fingers into oblivion before his eyes flicked up to meet Eren's eyes.

Eren had a sheepish look on his face.

 _I'm sorry._ Eren signed. His hand was in a fist and went in a circular motion in the middle of his chest.

 Jean had no idea what he was feeling right now.

First he wanted to punch Eren. He wanted to punch him and wished he could scream and talk and yell so he could just direct it at Eren and let out all his anger in verbal words. He then wanted to sigh heavily and ignore Eren a bit more just so what he did could sink into Eren some more. And now... now he wanted to punch Eren but instead of using his fist he wanted to punch his face with kisses.

There was no way Eren was this fucking cheesy and stupid to think that a puppy, a clearly not well thought out plan and a sheepish smile would work. And it was sad for Jean to admit that this shit apology actually did work, as much of a goddamn trainwreck as it was.

Jean didn't know if he wanted to laugh or not. He just honestly couldn't believe Eren did this. There was _no way_ this was real life right now.

Jean was probably taking a long time to reply, since Eren's face slightly fell. That was more than enough to pull him from his thoughts and to finally reply to Eren.

 _I hate you,_ Jean signed before closing the distance between them and hugging Eren. He was mindful not too hug him too tightly or get too close, as to not crush the poor pup in between them.

Eren hugged Jean back with one arm. It was now his turn to be surprised. There was no way this mess of an idea actually worked on Jean. There was no fucking way.

Jean pulled away after a moment, and looked down at the pup. He held out his hands towards the pup but hesitated, eyes looking up at Eren. Eren simply nodded, and Jean scooped the puppy into his hands.

God, it was _small._ Small, white and fluffy and looked like a snowball. Jean couldn't hold back the smile as he looked at the little guy, not really minding when he got to work biting his fingers and knuckles. There was no way Eren did this for him. He went out his way to get a fucking puppy to add to his apology. Christ, Eren was a mess.

Jean pet its back with his thumb, his movements light and careful. Eren let out a soft sigh, glad that this worked even though it was a trainwreck to execute in the way he imagined. Eren tapped Jean's wrist, getting his attention before kissing him. He made sure to kiss Jean softly and lightly; just like the way Jean kissed him. He was surprised when Jean kissed him back harshly, pressing too hard against his lips, teasingly.

The two of them pulled back when the pup yapped loudly, getting Eren's attention. Eren broke out into a grin.

 _Want to raise him together?_ Eren signed, and Jean rolled his eyes but nodded in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #TEAMNOODLES4LIFE
> 
> also the dog.... is a pomeranian.... bc i really really reaLLY LOVE... POMS OKAY IM SORRY  
> also once again i make a chapter thats 4k bc of angst. amazing. 
> 
> OH. the painting that eren got as a present from jean for their first date? its totes the painting version of the drawing jean did of eren when they first kissed (christ does that make any sense)

**Author's Note:**

> I KEPT REFERENCING JAGER ROYALE I HOPE U GUYS DONT MISS THAT IF U HAVE READ THE FIC ALREADY  
> sorry for the crap format and the kinda really bad intro??? and the fact that jean's deafness isnt really idk known .... i promise in the later chapters when jean and eren actually hang out it'll be more yknow not shit representation i guess  
> also?? feel free to leave me ideas for this fic in the comments pls  
> and give me critiques  
> 


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